I hate the Interweb

My plan:

1. Go on computer
2. Go to school webpage
3. Find guidance counselor e-mail address
4. E-mail guidance couselor about schedule changes
5. Get off computer, do homework

What actually happened:

1. Go on computer
2. Go to school webpage
3. Open Gmail and Facebook while school webpage is loading
4. Check notifications, read new e-mails
5. Start G-chatting with friend
6. Get annoyed I can't find my guidance counselor's e-mail address
7. Check SparkLife and xkcd to relieve tension
8. Remember I haven't checked my awesome blog in a few days
9. Notice the tempting StumbleUpon link on my bookmarks
10. I can't believe I just wasted an hour stumbling
11. Go back to school webpage to feign doing work
12. Hey - it's actually right here! The e-mail address!
13. Compose e-mail to counselor
14. Start another G-chat while on Gmail
15. Father threatens to cut internet connection

I swear I'm not addicted. I'm just...distracted easily.

But there is one good thing that came out of it. As a gift to all you excellent readers out there, here are two excellent photos and such that I discovered whilst Stumbling.

 

UPDATE:

It happened again, but here are two more lovely picture for ya.

This is what this blog is all about

Being wacky and weird.
Being awesome and epic.
Being so amazing that you pour chocolate sauce on pancakes.

Because these here pancakes are DRIZZLED IN AWESOMENESS

If water guns are any indicator, I should be kept far away from any sort of weaponry

I have decided what to spend my Amazon gift card on. I got it for Christmas and have spent the last 20 or whatever days scouring Amazon for epic things to buy. I've made lists, pro/con tables, pie charts, bar graphs, and spent many hours deliberating on this very important question - if you had $20 and could buy anything (I swear, Amazons sells EVERYTHING), what would you buy?

Well, I've finally come to a conclusion. I'm buying a marshmallow gun.

I'm not sure if this is the wisest choice for someone like me, who only realized last week that Hershey's kisses are nothing but large chocolate chips. Whenever my sister and I would play with water guns as kids, one of us would end up in tears. It's not our fault. We just played a slightly more vicious game of water-gun hide-and-seek than other children.

And then we got the laser guns. They're like the ones in LazerZone, except you don't need a stupid outfit. you just shoot each other's guns with invisible laser beams. Pretty epic. Except...they also came with mini-missiles to fire at people.

I'm sorry, okay!! I wasn't aiming for her face!!

And then there was that time when we toured Fort Sumter in Charleston, SC. First, you should know that I'm part monkey. I'm rather obsessed with climbing on things. Like Civil War-era cannons, for instance.
It didn't go off, luckily, but I think it was a close call. I doubt they would have been pleased if it had. I mean, the place is already destroyed, and the museum people wouldn't have appreciated it if it had been doubly blown up.

...it would have been kind of cool, though. They would have talked about me at the museum. "And then, our lovely monument was blown sky-high by some crazy teenager who thought the cannon was a trampoline."

Despite my history with weaponry, I'm buying myself a gun that shoots marshmallows across the room. Can you name anything more epic? Yeah, I thought not.

Ratios and Doctors

I went to the doctor's today. A little while ago, I reported to you all that I'm sick. Turns out I had pneumonia. Don't back away like that! I looked it up on Wikipedia and it's not contagious via the Internet. You're safe.

I'm all good and cured now, so I went back for a follow-up appointment. To check and make sure that I'm not dead or anything. And I discovered something:

I hate waiting in doctor's offices.

First there's all the sick people around you, with germs floating everywhere. I just got better, 'kay? Not to mention that doctors Always Run Late.

So I spent my hour devising a lovely mathematical formula to tell you how competent your doctor office is. Here it is:

   Time spent waiting   

Length of appointment

My appointment consisted of the doctor listening to my breathing for thirty seconds and declaring me cured. So I'll plug in my numbers to show you how this handy formula works:

50 minutes

1.5 minutes

Any mathy nerds like me out there have already whipped out their graphing calculators and simplified this. Or done it in your head. Whatever. The answer, by the way, is 33.3333.

Now look on the chart to see your results:

<1 - That's good! Give your doctor's office an A+++

1-2 - Eh. Not terrible. Depends on how long your appointment is.

3-5 - That's pretty bad.

6-10 - This is the average for my doctor's office.

>10 - Wow, that's REALLY slow.

>30 - FAIL.

Notice which category my wait today falls into?

Why I Love Marketing

'Nuff said:

One Of Life's Mysteries: Solved!

I am here to take a large load off your shoulders.

*takes load off of your shoulders*

There, that feels better, doesn't it? Hey...why do I have your backpack?? I was talking about a  figurative load; I don't want this...

In case you were wondering, the figurative load that you have just been relieved of is one that has been haunting you since childhood. An impossible question, suddenly made possible by yours truly.

Tell me, which came first, the chicken or the egg?

Actually, to scholars of history, this is quite a simple question. Straightforward. At least, compared to the "Assess whether the Panic of 1837 was Andrew Jackson's lasting legacy as president of the USA" question that I got on my recent APUSH test. At lease the question I just posed to you does not contain the words "assess", "analyze", "evaluate", "to what extent", or something similar.

Got the answer yet? I promise you there is one. And it's not tricky either. It is one of the two options in the question. No hidden strings.

My favorite part of this picture is are the crowd silhouettes. I was quite proud of them.

Stuck? Okay, the answer is....*drumroll*....the egg.

I could just end the post right here, you know. That would be cruel of me, but funny. I'd leave you lost in a forest of confusion, wandering around bumping into trees thinking "Why is it the egg? WHY?"

Because, my friends, dinosaur eggs were around far before chickens.

Life's mystery: solved! Cross that one off your bucket list!

Snippet of my Bucket List
42. Solve a Rubik's Cube
43. Figure out that stupid question about chickens and eggs
44. Blow up a marshmallow in the microwave
45. Ride a cow

UPDATE:
Some people have argued that I'm slipping through loopholes, and the real question means chicken eggs. In that case, it was obviously the chicken that came first. Chicken dinosaurs* were around waaaayy before chicken eggs.

*Chicken Dinosaur [chik-un di-noe-sawr] n. A dinosaur that is a chicken, or a scared, cowardly dinosaur. (ex. When danger reared its ugly head, the chicken dinosaur turned and fled.)

Kudos To Crowne Plaza

I love the Crowne Plaza. In case you don't know, they're a hotel. They might be a chain. Probably. But I only know of one, and its the most epic hotel ever. I know this even though I've never stayed there.

The particular hotel in question is on top of the Mass Pike, which happens to be in the wonderful state of Massachusetts. Ya know, hence the "Mass". That's the first epic thing about this hotel. The Mass Pike goes under this hotel. Which is cool for a person from Nowhereville, MA, like me.
Sure, Shaw's is on top of the Mass Pike too, but who likes Shaw's??

But the position of this hotel is not even the reason I'm writing this, even though it is rather amazing. No, the reason is this:

Can you even figure out what this is a picture of? Yeah, I thought not. My friends, this is what a hotel looks like when you take a picture of it with a cell phone camera while going 70 mph on the Mass Pike.

This is a picture I stole from Google images. I'll apologize in advance for any copyright whatevers. But, believe it or not, the following picture and the picture above are of the very same hotel on the very same day:

I'll add, that "very same day" happened to be just a few days before Christmas. Those little boxes of yellow light are hotel rooms. For the literacy challenged, they spell the word, "JOY".
Can you now see why I love this hotel?

So my mom and brother and I, we oohed and ahhed as we drove under the hotel. We were pretty impressed. I took a picture. And I would have forgotten about this experience, except...

This one is also awful, and I couldn't find a Google replacement, so I will have to set the scene for those who cannot decipher my poor cell-phone-camera photography.

Date: January 2, 2011
Time: Nighttime. Hence, you know, the darkness.
Place: Crowne Plaza Hotel. Mass Pike.
Description: One day after New Year's, a girl, her sister, and her mother were driving on the Mass Pike. The girl was moody that her Radio Privileges had been revoked after they heard the same song three times (It was a good song!). Her sister was singing in the backseat to some pop song. She grouchily stared out the windshield only to be dazzled by the beauty of the thing before her. Behold! The Crowne Plaza hotel, which she had seen just a week earlier, now back with a new message! She frantically dug out her phone and took a crappy picture to commemorate the moment forever. The End.

And that, my friends, is why I love Crowne Plaza hotel.

Welcome to 2011

Welcome to the first post of 2011.

Now, just to spoil the mood, let's remind ourselves that this will be the last complete year of our lives. Ya know, because the world will end Dec. 21, 2012.
Right. Bring it on, Mayans.

Thing I find most interesting is this - I've lived during two different millenniums, two different centuries, and three different decades!
Personally, I find that rather impressive.

Enough rambling about deep stuff like how cool it is that I've lived forever. How was your New Year's Eve?

I rather liked mine. I went to FirstNight Boston. Which is, um, in Boston. Yeah. I walked in the parade. Actually, stiltwalked, with my circus school. Fairly amazing, considering there were about 100 thousand people, at least, watching me and cheering me on. I guess that was what it feels like to be a celebrity.

Then I sat on a police car. Like, on top of the car. Ever done that? I thought not. I imagine it would be hard to get to if you didn't have five-foot legs. Sure, they yelled at us and stuff, but it was cool while it lasted. I can cross that off my bucket list.

Snippet of my Bucket List
76. Climb Bamboo Trees in China
77. Learn to juggle
78. Sit on top of a police car
79. Go out for movies and Chinese food on Christmas Day

After that awesomeness, I nearly starved to death waiting 45 minutes to eat at Uno's.
I don't really mind, though. Have you tasted the crust of their deep-dish pizza? *drools* That stuff is to die for.

Then, I went home. I watched Get Smart until 1 in the morning. When midnight came, I paused the movie, jumped on the sofa for a minute, then sat back down and continued watching.

How about you guys?

Sayings That No Longer Work

There are some sayings in our lovely English language that are a bit outdated. You've gotta wonder, what on Earth were the guys who coined these things thinking??

Look, dudes. I know in your time, during the Dark Ages or something, you were pretty cool. I bet you thought you were pretty special, making up these sayings that people can quote to make themselves sound smart. I bet they were supposed to be deep and metaphorical things of beauty.

Hate to break it ya, guys, but it didn't work out.

Power Corrupts, Absolute Power Corrupts Absolutely
It sounds nice, but really? I don't understand how anyone can be religious and still believe in that. Who has absolute power? God. But God is not corrupt. God is nice and forgiving and benevolent. Luckily. As for nonreligious people, it still doesn't work, because, for example, I have absolute power over my pet rock, Westley, and I haven't gone all corrupt and killed him. Yet.

A Watched Pot Never Boils
Um, yes it does. I've tested this one. Completely false. LIES, I tell you!

Rome Wasn't Built In A Day
Yeah? How do you know? Were you there?

Money Doesn't Grow On Trees
What if I'm an Aztec? They used cocoa beans as money. Guess where cocoa beans grow, smart one?

Sticks And Stones Can Break My Bones, But Words Can Never Hurt Me
Yeah? Tell that to a verbal abuse victim.

The Early Bird Catches the Worm
This is irrelevant because people hate getting up early. And why would I want to catch worms, anyway?

An Apple A Day Keeps The Doctor Away
My big problem with this is that I keep thinking it's referring to Doctor Who, and all I can think is, "why would I want to keep Doctor Who away? I love him!"

There's Always More Fish in the Sea
Not if BP killed them all.

The Pen is Mightier Than the Sword
Yeah? Here, I'll attack you with this sword, and you defend yourself with that pen.
(You're cheating if you use Percy Jackson's pen, Riptide)

Snow: a Blessing or a Menace?

"People were being cruel to me today. They laughed at me and called me names and wouldn't let me join any of their reindeer games....

Oops, wait, wrong person.

Anyway, there was this one guy who was mean to me. He kept saying things to me that seemed really nice, and I thought he was my friend. I tried called him later to thank him, I was so exited, but I couldn't find his number. But then, I found out he had lied to me! I was so angry and upset and sad. I cried that night.

I don't know his name, this guy. But I feel like I know him personally. And he personally betrayed me. My weatherman.

He called for snow. "A blizzard!" he cried, to the cheers of teenagers everywhere. I was among them. We were all taken in by his empty promises, his blatant lies.

"Several feet!" he exclaimed, and we stamped our own feet in joy.
"The roofs will cave in!" he declared, and we raised the roof in response.

We left him feeling fulfilled. Joyful. Anxious for the deliverance of the promised snow.

And then we got nothing. Not a damn snowflake.

And that is why I hate my weatherman this lovely afternoon."

That is what I wrote about a week ago, but forgot to publish it. Now, we're having the "Blizzard of 2010" up here in the northern reaches of the US of A. They'd better hope that it stops before this Friday, or they'll have to call it the "Blizzard of 2010/2011" and that's just not as catchy.

A week ago, I yearned for snow. They said we would have a snow day. I thought that would be pretty great. Why do we always have the giant snowstorms on the days that we already have school off??

A week ago, I wanted snow so badly. Now, I'd rather give it back. It's annoying. It made me slip and fall on my icy driveway. It made me cold and wet. It made my arms ache after I pushed my little cousins on sleds for hours on end.

Yes, snow. My frenemy. I love it sometimes, and sometimes it's nice to me. Then there's the times that we just don't get along at all...

Ick, I'm Sick

I'm sick. I hate it.
I'm a really weird person. You watch movies like Ferris Bueller and that's the norm, isn't it? Kids hold the thermometer up to light bulbs to raise their temperatures, so they can skip school.

If my mom wasn't watching me the entire time, I would hold my thermometer up to an ice cube.

Mom: "Your temperature is... 85 degrees? Either you have pneumonia or you cheated."

I just can't stand missing school. Yes, I'm such a nerd. But really. I hate doing stuff like make-up work. Having to stay after to take tests that I missed. Yucky stuff.
So, unlike Ferris, I try to convince my parents that I am completely well enough to go to school.

Usually I fail.

I hate being a lazy lump. Yesterday I missed school, circus class, and math team. Instead, I watched Kung Fu Panda. You're all probably jealous. I was miserable.

The only good side to all this is that at least I can sleep in. I only just woke up.

Holiday Cheers

I'll try not to mention the C-word in this post. Being politically correct is important, of course, so it would be very bad to refer to this time of year as anything but "holiday season". I will call the holiday coming up six days before the end of this month as "That-Holiday-Starting-With-A-'C'-That-I-Can't-Say-Because-That-Would-Be-Mixing-Religion-Into-Other-Things-And-I-Don't-Want-To-Offend-Anyone", or just The-Holiday-Which-Must-Not-Be-Named for short.

I celebrate You-Know-What. My mom got into our tree the day after Thanksgiving, for [insert-deity-of-your-choice]'s sake! We went out and hacked the feet off of a large evergreen shrubbery and tied it to the top of a large contraption that moves on it own thanks to multiple small explosions occurring right near you every second.

You know it's this time of year when two days after Thanksgiving there are large ornaments the size of basketballs hanging from the ceiling in the kitchen and any anti-holiday sentiment warrants an accusation of being called a "grinch", "scrooge", "grinch-scrooge", "weirdo", or "platypus".

I need to go shopping to get presents for all my relatives, friends, family, and pets. I only have one pet. My pet rock, Westley.

On a different note, I always find this a funny time of year. Jewish kids get presents on Hanukkah (forgive me if I butchered the spelling there) because their parents don't want them to feel left out because Christian kids get You-Know-What presents. But Christmas is supposed to be Jesus's birthday. Even though Jesus was technically born in March, back in the day they changed it to December, to make it easier to convert people. They already celebrated the winter solstice at that time, so it's easier to change the course of a holiday than make a new one.

Speaking of changing the course of a holiday, it has been. This is no longer about religion, it's about presents and Santa. I read a story about a kid in church who was asked whose birthday was on Dec. 25. The kid replied, "Santa Claus".

What is our world coming to?

How To Get A SparkLife Series

There's a brand-new series on SparkLife - written by...can you guess it? Moi. If You don't take French, that means that this awesome new column is authored by none other than yours truly!

Ok. Sorry. I don't mean to brag. I'm just rather excited. Yell at me in the comments if you think I'm an egotistical jerk for stealing the columnist position that you applied for, having visit SparkLife thanks to the handy link in my Awesome Links section.

Anyway, I have a new series. "Flyergirl13 Tells You How-" as it is aptly named, considering I will explain to you in a comprehensive guide how to do anything and everything that is completely unhelpful. It's pretty awesome, I'm telling you.

Again, apologies for sounding braggy. But hey, I got a series. Can't I have an itsy bit of bragging rights?
YAY! *fist pump*

Forms of Government Explained Using Cows

You know this blog is technically a place to search for, and gain, awesomeness? Hence the title. Well, this little bugger down below will increase your awesomeness levels by at least 20%. Of course, I didn't write this. That would require me to be smarter and funnier and awesomer than I am. I stole it from this here website, just in case you're a lawyer here to sue me for plagiarism.
Note: The pictures are my own handiwork, however. Kudos to you if you can guess which form of government each picture correlates to. Good luck!
If not, read on! Keep a pillow handy in case you pass out from the awesomeness of it.


FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.


FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.

PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.

APPLIED COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.

DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.

MILITARISM: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.

SINGAPOREAN DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. The government fines you for keeping two unlicensed farm animals in an apartment.

PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

AMERICAN DEMOCRACY: The government promises to give you two cows if you vote for it. After the election, the president is impeached for speculating in cow futures. The press dubs the affair "Cowgate".

BRITISH DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. You feed them sheeps' brains and they go mad. The government doesn't do anything.

BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. After that it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

HONG KONG CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly-listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping five cows. The milk rights of six cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the right to all seven cows' milk back to the listed company. The annual report says that the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Meanwhile, you kill the two cows because of bad fung shui.

TOTALITARIANISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.

POLITICAL CORRECTNESS: You are "associated with" (the concept of 'ownership' is a symbol of the phallocentric, warmongering, intolerant past) two differently aged (but no less valuable to society) bovines of non-specified gender.

SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

Fist Pump!

I'm going to have to try to make this a non-braggy post. But it's hard. The words are spewing out of my mouth, I can't stop them... I DID IT! That's right. Or, actually, that's write. Because I wrote a 50K word novel in a month. For NaNoWriMo. Actually, in 29 days. And I couldn't be happier.

Olive Branch, by Me, is 50,515 words long and I'm so proud. I don't know what to do with it now. Oh well. It doesn't matter. All that matters is I DID IT!
*fist pump*

My Day At Splash

"Splash" is a weekend program at MIT (Massachusetts Institute of Technology) that I went to this past weekend. It takes place on Saturday and Sunday, and you can go all day to take student-run classes. The classes can be on any topic from Theoretical Physics to How To Survive The Zombie Apocalypse. Basically, there's something there for everyone. Splash is open to anyone in grades 7-12, and it's a blast. This was my second year attending, and it was just as incredible as before.

Unfortunately, I was busy on Saturday and I could only go to the Sunday classes. There are almost a hundred (a complete guesstimate) classes running on Sunday, anywhere from one to eight hours long, so I still had plenty to choose from.
 

7:00 AM - Wake up. I'm confused, thinking it's a school day, because why on Earth would my alarm be going off on a weekend? Then remember: Splash today! Roll out of bed, put on my epic Pac-Man t-shirt. There are lots of epic people at Splash, so it will surely be appreciated.

7:30 AM - My sister, age 12, has a mental breakdown. This is her first time at Splash and she's scared that she'll get lost on the MIT campus. I comfort her and tell her not to worry, the monsters only live in the underground tunnels and only venture above-ground occasionally.

8:00 AM - Leave on the forty-minute drive to Boston. Classes start at 9, so we have plenty of time.

8:45 AM - Check in. They print me a schedule, showing my classes for the day. You pre-register for classes a few weeks before the actual event, online at the Splash website.

8:46 AM - What is this madness? I don't want to take "Learn to Read a Poem"! I have Sparknotes for that! I quickly switch into the "Samuri versus Ninja" class. Far more epic to meet my awesomeness standards.

8:52 AM - A random guy comes up to me and compliments my Pac-Man shirt.

8:57 AM - Race up six flights of stairs to the top of the building for my first class, "Making Chainmaille". I see that I'm at the top and climb the last flight to see if the door to the roof is unlocked. It isn't, and now my legs really hurt. I trudge back down and find the classroom.

9:02 AM - Whoa! The teacher is really good at making chainmaille. She made a chainmaille dress for her senior prom, and brought it to show us. I pick it up. It weighed at least fifty pounds.

9:20 AM - I've mastered the simple weave, and start making a little patch of chainmaille. My fingers are turning black from this, and these pliers are really small and hard to hold. Oh well. This is fun.

9:50 AM -  I expand on my little patch of chainmaille. It's taken forever to get a four-by-four inch square. I have no idea how she found time to make a whole prom dress.

10:10 AM - I make a chainmaille bracelet, complete with a clasp. I'll wear it to school tomorrow and my friends will think I'm either awesome or crazy.

10:40 AM - I start a new bracelet, this one with colored links. It's beautiful. I love chainmaille. I want to be a knight when I grow up.

10:55 AM - The class is just about over, so she gives us lots of extra rings so we can finish at home. My bag rips and they scatter all over inside my backpack. I'll pick them up later.

11:02 AM - Find the room for my next class, "Learn to Juggle".

11:06 AM - I wonder why there's no one else here yet.

11:09 AM - Yes, this is the right room. I wonder why...oh, wait, there's a sign on the door. What?! My class has been canceled? What is this madness?

11:11 AM - I have nothing to do for the next hour. I explore for a little while. They basically let you run free on MIT campus, so it's pretty awesome.

11:27 AM - I go back to chainmaille class. the teacher has another class, but she lets me stay. They're really lax about that stuff, so it's all good.

11:56 AM - Replenish my supply of extra rings and go to my next class, "Candy Wrapper Art"

12:04 PM - We're going to be making bracelets out of Starburst wrappers! Wow, I'm going to have a lot of bracelets by the end of this.

12:10 PM - Not only do we get to make the bracelet, we get to eat the Starburst to get the wrappers! Could this get any better?

12:17 PM - Wow. This is really hard. Why are these so hard to fold?

12:40 PM - It's been forty minutes and my bracelet is two inches long. This is harder than it looks.

12:55 PM - Stuff twenty Starburst and my three-inch bracelet into my backpack. I'll finish it later.

1:07 PM - My sister shows me the way to lunch. What is this? She's supposed to be the noob who doesn't know her way around,a and I'm supposed to be the expert who can find a needle in this haystack of a school. This isn't how it's supposed to work.

1:12 PM - Okay, I probably would never have found this without her. Jeez. She's already eaten, so she abandons me. How will I find my way back?

1:15 PM - Pizza! Nomnomnom.

1:20 PM - I sit with some awesome girls, one from Canada and one from Maryland. They compliment my Pac-Man shirt.

1:23 PM - We discuss the Harry Potter movie and compare it to the books. I like these people.

1:33 PM - We discuss xkcd. I like these people.

1:41 PM - We bash Twilight. I like these people.

2:04 PM - My "Samuri versus Ninja" class. I'm rooting for ninjas.

2:45 PM - Wow, Samuris have cool swords! I want to be a Samuri.

3:20 PM - Ninjas are epic! They can jump over walls and they can pretend to walk on water. I want to be a ninja.

3:40 PM - No, I want to be a Samuri! They have cool armor.

3:55 PM - No, I want to be a ninja. They have black outfits.

4:05 PM - "Set" class. Set is an awesome card game. I know how to play, and I sit at the Pro table.

4:10 PM - These people are REALLY good. I've found two sets the whole game. I lost.

4:12 PM -I will not quit and go to the intermediate table. I will not quit and go to the intermediate table.

4:25 PM - YES! I won a game! I got seven sets, but I won!

4:26 PM - I win a Silly Band. It's a hippo. I add it to the collection on my wrists, which also includes my Starburst bracelet (I finished it during my ninja class).

5:02 PM - "Things You Could Do In Ancient Rome but Not Today" Basically we learn about the crazy idiotic emperors.

5:15 PM - Apparently, Augustus Caesar wrote a laundry list of everything he did in his life. It includes lines like "I became the master of everything by the consent of all" but he still manages to sound completely modest while he brags about everything. That guy was a genius.

5:25 PM - We read Cicero's Phillipics against Marc Antony. Basically, it's a huge political speech bashing him in every way possible. I wish modern politics were this awesome.

5:45 PM - So Emperor Caligula dressed up some of his soldiers as enemies, and paraded them through Rome to prove that he could actually capture some enemies in battle. This guy was hilarious.

6:02 PM - "Make Things Out of Duct Tape" class! I already know how to do this, so I go over and show off my duct-tape-flower-making skills.

6:07 PM - Three people admire my flower.

6:12 PM - A guy give me a scone in trade for me teaching him how to make a flower. I accept.

6:13 PM - He compliments my Pac-Man shirt.

6:15 PM - He has buttons on his backpack. I admire them. I tell the table about my one lonely Tardis button.

6:16 PM - Everyone at the table knows what a Tardis is. I love these people.

6:22 PM - I try to trade a duct tape flower for one of his buttons, but he refuses.

6:31 PM - I show them my duct tape turtle that my brother gave me. They are jealous.

6:40 PM - A whole group of us leaves. We hang out by the entrance with a Free Hugs sign, and get about two dozen takers.

7:00 PM - We sit in two lines by the door, so that anyone who leaves has to go in between. We applaud anyone who passes through.

7:05 PM - Aww! Splash is over! It was so much fun, and I had a great time, I can't wait until Spark in the spring!

Well, I Am Speechless

It's a good thing I'm not actually talking to you in person. Because I wouldn't be able to form a intelligible sentence. I think I've been hit with Mad-Eye Moody's Tongue-Tying Curse (I'm not Snape! It wasn't me who killed you, Dumbledore!)

I'm dumbfounded.

Harry Potter 7 (Part 1, I'm not that awesome that I get to see Part 2) was incredible. Phenomenal. I liked 1-3, strongly disliked 4 and 5, thought 6 was okay, but this. Was. Amazing.
I didn't think the director had it in him. I guess I was proved wrong.

*SPOILERS*
-Twenty seconds in, I was ready to cry when Hermione mind-erases her parents. You know, when she disappears from all the pictures and stuff. Soo sad!
-I didn't really feel anything when Mad-Eye died. They didn't do very well with that. I was like, "Oh. Okay, whatever." It wasn't that important.
-Kreacher and Dobby looked a lot more animated-y in this movie. I didn't like it as much, but Dobby was hilarious! "Dobby was not trying to kill Miss Bellatrix, Dobby was only wanting to maim or seriously injure." I may have butchered it a bit, but you get the idea. I was so sad when SPOILER *whispers* Dobby dies! It was the worst part of the book, and the movie. (Worst as in saddest, not bad).
-What's with Harry taking off his shirt? Taking a leaf out of Twlight's book? (yuck). Harry is not particulary hot and he looks so old and weird without a shirt and/or glasses.
-The scene with Harry and Hermione in the Horcrux was, well, um, awkward *awkward turtle*
-So was the scene with Harry and Hermione dancing. WTH?
-The animation for the tail of the three brothers was really cool
-I thought it was interesting that they skipped the swear. In the beginning, when Hermione is showing off her Extended bag, she shakes it, peers inside, and says, "Oh, damn, that'll be be the books," In the movie, she just says, "Ah, that'll  be the books," Not necessarily a complaint, just an interesting thing to point out.
-Great suspense. I was so into it, I forgot it was two parts and after Voldy takes the wand, it cuts straight to credits and I'm just sitting there like, what happened to the movie?
-The scene in the Ministry where Ron is other guy and forgets who he is: "But...my wife is being interrogated!" *pause* "Ron, you don't have a wife,"
-Also, when Ron kisses his 'wife' and the real one walks in? Great!
-Overall score: 6.72983 Horcruxes out of 7!

Leave your opinions of the movie in the comments!

Ticks: Why I Hate Them

In the beginning, there was nothing. And then, there were ticks.
They swarmed the earth, feeding upon anything they could find. Initially, they were herbivores, that is, they only ate green things. Like lettuce. Or green Jell-O. Or green crayons.
But one day, a tick named Reginald accidentally ate a zebra. It was painted green, and he had thought it was a normal meal. But he discovered that it had this weird red stuff on the inside. He liked it. He told all his ticky friends about it, and soon, there were no magical green zebras left. Deprived of a food source, they had to turn to normal-colored zebras, and eventually all sorts of mammals. They didn't care, as long as they contained the yummy red liquid.

And so, the ticks evolved to be blood-sucking creatures of doom. No one likes them. Not even Edward Cullen.

Why am I telling you the fascinating history of ticks, you ask? Well, I found one on me today. It was yucky. And attaching to my shoulder. You probably don't want to hear about this. It's making me cringe as I type it. But I hate ticks. They're vampires, and no one likes those.

A Temporary Farewell

Hello all.

That is, if anyone is reading this.

In case anyone actually does read this blog, I'd like to let you know that I will not be posting for the month of November. I'm sorry I just broke your heart. I'll be working on a NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) novel and it's hard to write so much in so little time. So, no blogging.

If you want to get in on the fun, check out the link above. Also, read this and this on SparkNotes. They helped me out a lot (this is my first year). See you in December!


NOTE: Contrary to this picture, I am not actually writing my novel with a quill pen. It would take a while. Plus, I don't you where to get one, unless I yanked it out of a bird, and that would be painful for us both.

What is Halloween, really?

Halloween. ah, how we love you so. The only much-anticipated day between Labor Day and Thanksgiving. And who really cares about Labor Day except as a day off of school?

But who here actually knows what Halloween is?
Since I can't actually see you, because this is a computer screen and my spy cameras are temporarily disabled, I will assume that no one is raising their hands, and continue with my definitions of Halloween.

1. All Hallows Eve/All Saint's Eve
The day before All Saint's Day, according to Christians. How boring.
"Come on, let's go pick out our costumes for All Saint's Eve!" Yeah, right.

2. An Excuse To Pig Out On Candy
Don't deny it, we all use this. "But Mom, it's Halloween! I'm supposed to be eating candy!" Personally, I think this is the most important reason to have this holiday.

3. DID Appreciation Day
Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) is a condition in which people display multiple distinct identities. I'm guessing that this is where the whole dressing-up-as-something-else thing came from, and Halloween was started as an appreciation day for this disorder.

4. Anti Stranger Danger
Maybe it was started as a rebellion against Stranger Danger programs. You know its true. What other day of the year can you accept candy from strangers? Just don't go helping them look for lost puppies.


5. Therapy For Serial Killers
This isn't isn't about the holiday as much as the strange practice of carving pumpkins. I'm guessing that this started as a rehabilitation for knife murderers.
"We need to get the negative energy out of them, but we don't want them actually hurting people. I know! Let's let them stab some pumpkins!"

What do you think is the meaning of Halloween?