Sunday, February 26, 2012

I enjoy messing with people

I went to the bank to get money the other day, and the bank teller guy asked me how I wanted the bills.  I said " about in two-dollar bills?"

He paused, and looked at me with a face vaguely resembling this:

But he didn't say anything, and proceeded to pull out a little official-looking envelope from a little cabinet, and counted out a whole bunch of $2 bills.  The other tellers sort of looked at him weirdly, and he didn't say anything, just handed me my stack of two-dollar bills.

Great.  My bank thinks I'm a freak.

But this doesn't matter, because I am dancing around with my fresh stack of two-dollar bills.  I love these things so much, for several reasons.

1) Sometimes, people don't know that you can just ask for them at a bank.  They think $2 bills are rare.  Therefore, if you're convincing enough, you can persuade your friends to buy them off you for $3 or so.  I haven't had any success yet, but I'm working on it.

2) My brother likes to spend them all the time because he says he's "trying to bring them back into circulation."  I love spending them too, but for a different reason.  First, the cashier always looks at me, and the bill, really weirdly.  In some cases, I've heard that cashiers vehemently accuse you of counterfeit (or just refuse it), because they don't believe there's such thing as a two-dollar bill.  Hasn't happened to me, though.  But here's my favorite part.  See, cash register have specific slots for different types of bills and coins, and they don;t have a $2 bill slot.  So their hand sort of hovers between the $1 and $5 slots, trying to figure out what to do with it.  It reminds me delightfully of the spork scene in Wall-E.

It makes me crack up every time.

Monday, February 20, 2012

HAPPY Washington, Adams (Sr), Jefferson, Madison, Monroe, Adams (Jr), Jackson, Van Buren, Harrison, Tyler, Polk, Taylor, Fillmore, Pierce, Buchanan, Lincoln, Johnson (Andy), Grant, Hayes, Garfield, Arthur, Cleveland, Harrison, Cleveland (again), McKinley, Roosevelt (Teddy), Taft, Wilson, Harding, Coolidge, Hoover, Roosevelt (Frank), Truman, Eisenhower, Kennedy, Johnson (Lyndon), Nixon, Ford, Carter, Reagan, Bush (Sr), Clinton, Bush (Jr), Obama DAY!

Yes, that was from memory.

No, I am not sorry for having such a long title.  Blame our abundance of presidents.  Now, for some...drumroll...PRESIDENTIAL TRIVIA!

I'm sorry, I just really, really love trivia.  Especially about the presidents.  The following are facts I just happen to know:

  • John Tyler (president 1841-1845) currently has 2 living grandchildren.
  • James Garfield (president 1881) could write in Greek with one hand and in Latin with the other - simultaneously.
  • Milliard Fillmore (president 1850-1853) is the only U.S. president whose first language was not English - it was Dutch.
  • Milliard Fillmore's last words were "The nourishment is palatable."
  • Teddy Roosevelt's last words were "Please put out the light."
  • JFK's last words were "That's obvious."
  • Both John Adams and Thomas Jefferson died on the same day, July 4, 1826.  Adam's last words were "Thomas Jefferson still survives," which is incorrect because Jefferson had actually died a few hours earlier.  Jefferson's last words were "It is the Fourth?"
  • William Henry Harrison died after 31 days in office because he refused to wear a jacket during his inaugural speech and caught pneumonia.  His campaign slogan was "Tippecanoe and Tyler too," which, in my opinion, is far more catchy than "Yes We Can."  On that note, James K. Polk's slogan was "54-40 or Fight," which had to do with claiming Oregon territory.  I vote Romney's slogan to be "Romney or Fight." So much more interesting!
  • Grover Cleveland served two non-consecutive terms.
  • JFK was not actually the youngest president ever.  He was the youngest elected president.  Teddy Roosevelt was younger when he took office after McKinley was assassinated, and by the time he was re-elected, he was older than JFK.
  • Rutherford B. Hayes (whose election ended Reconstruction) was the first president to have a telephone.  His phone number was 1.
  • Lincoln ($5 and 1 cent), Jefferson (5 cents and $2), Franklin Roosevelt (10 cents), Kennedy (50 cents), Eisenhower ($1 coin, no longer in circulation), Washington ($1), Jackson ($20), Grant ($50), McKinley ($500, no longer in circulation), Cleveland ($1000, no longer in circulation), Madison ($5000, no longer in circulation), and Wilson ($100000, no longer in circulation) are all portrayed on U.S. currency.
  • Speaking of which, the only people on U.S. currency who were never presidents are Susan B. Anthony ($1 coin), Sacagawea ($1 coin), Alexander Hamilton ($10), Benjamin Franklin ($100), and Samuel Chase ($10000, no longer in circulation). I just realized that was a lot of facts (I never knew that I knew this much! And I know SO MUCH MORE too!), so I won't keep going on, or go look up other facts.  I mean, I just spent half an hour poring over Presidential Fun Facts.  Jeez, I like knowing this stuff.

But, yeah.  All of the above was stuff I already knew, though I Google-checked some of it to make sure I was right.  Happy President's Day!

P.S. If you don't live in the USA, I apologize.  Feel free to leave angry comments, which I will ignore.  Good'ay!

Sunday, February 12, 2012

My friends and I are really cool

However, blogger isn't making my image easy to see.  Find it here

Yes, this is my friend and I on Facebook.  Yes, we are really awesome.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Better late than never, right?

Today is February 7.

Five days ago, I meant write a lovely rant about Groundhog Day.  Well, you're about to be subject to said rant, because instead of the five-second rule, I follow the five-day rule.  Groundhog Day is still fair game.

Speaking of fair game, it's not like you would prefer me to write about the Super Bowl, right?  *cue groans and screams of agony*


After that introduction, I'm worried that my lovely rant cannot live up to such high expectations.  You're thinking that this rant had better be INCREDIBLE to be worth posting five days late.

It isn't incredible.  It's average.  Mediocre.  Practically incoherent.

I just realized this whole post is a big fat wad of disappointment waiting to happen.


Even disappointment can be a good present if it looks nice.  I shall wrap this disappointment in shiny wrapping paper, with glitter, and all will be right in the world.

How shall I accomplish this?  Friends, allow me to present: The Illustrated Rant - Groundhog Day Edition

Friday, February 3, 2012

I don't generally like concerts

They're too loud, and the music doesn't sound as good.  Mostly though, with music, I generally like a couple songs from a band, but not enough to warrant going to the concert.  Why sit through music you don't care for just for those few songs you like?

So, there are only a few bands that I would actually want to go to a concert for.  I would go see Rise Against, Matt & Kim, and the Dropkick Murphys.  I mean, there are a few others, like Queen (I'm seeing a cover band of them soon!) but it's not quite right without Freddie Mercury.

So, all three of them have been on tour recently, and for all three, I found out about the concert in Boston the day after the concert occurred.

Which is why I stand before you today, concert-less.  This sucks.

Speaking of which, am I the only one who thinks that Defunct Pasta would be a great name for a band?  I kind of wish I had some inkling of musical talent, so I could form a band with a cool name.

Background still undecided.  Sorry.