Monday, May 2, 2011

I figured out why relationships have "chemistry" if the people are meant for each other

EVERYTHING in relationships connects to chemistry.  I figured this out the other day when I had an epiphany in chem.  It all makes sense now!

Each atom is a person.  Atoms are all different elements, and the element that you are determines your personality type (physical and chemical properties).  Some atoms lose electrons when they bond,  and gain a positive charge.  These are called cations, and they are the girls.  Because girls are often described as "catty".  An guys are the ones that gain electrons, having a negative charge, called anions.  "Anion" reminds me of "onion" and it seems fitting because I hear guys can sometimes make you cry.

This is when the atoms form a relationship.  A normal metal-nonmetal bond is when electrons are tranfered and the cation and anion bond.  There are also covalent bonds, when two nonmetals bond, and a metallic bond, when two metals bond.  These would be gay and lesbian couples.  Transgendered atoms are the metalloids, because they have some properties of metals and some of nonmetals.  Polyatomic compounds are polygamists.

Atoms bond together based on several things.  The first thing they notice is physical appearance, that is, how many valence electrons do they have and whether that is compatible with themselves.  If a guy knows he only gets along with girls with green eyes, he's not going to pay much romantic attention to a girl with brown eyes.  If an atom has the wrong number of valence electrons that don't match up with yours, they generally don't bond.  The Noble Gases, who have a full outer shell of valence electrons, almost never bond (except Xenon occasionally).  These atoms are asexual and don't look to form any sort of relationship.
This is when bond are polar.
Could you have guess that yourself?  Good job!  I like being the one to point out the obvious.
Polar means that one atom in the compound pulls the electrons closer to it than the other atoms, thus creating an unequal sharing of electrons and giving one part of the compound a slightly negative charge, and the other a slightly positive charge.  This has to do with something called electronegativity, which I won't get into.  But nonmetals (guys) are the most electronegative on the periodic table.

Do you think that's true?  Who is more controlling in a relationship - the girl or guy?  I think it can go either way, so this is one situation in which the periodic table hasn't proved to be totally accurate.  (By the way, in covalent and metallic bonds, they are almost never polar.  Apparently gay couples generally don't have one clearly dominant portion)

In atoms, there is something called the "octet rule" that basically says that atoms bond because they are driven by the determination to have 8 valence electrons in their outer shell, to gain full stability.   This is one place where I don't fully trust my chem teacher, because how do we know what atoms want?  On that note, how can atoms "want" anything considering they have no brain and are nothing but a non-sentient pile of subatomic particles?  There is no "want".

But anyway, there is a connection to real relationships in this.  Too often, people are looking for a relationship because they need someone to "complete" them, like the atoms.  I have factual evidence for this statement in a song by the queen of pop culture: Katy Perry

"I finally found you
My missing puzzle piece
I'm complete"
                                 --Teenage Dream

But this is so totally not true.  Relationships are formed by two whole people and you are looking for someone to compliment you, NOT complete you.  This is a connection in which we are similar to chemistry, but we shouldn't be, because when the person "completes" you, that just leads to dominance in the relationship, and polarity (see above).

So basically, the whole point of this is, if you're ever in doubt of what to do in a relationship, turn to the Periodic Table for advice!  It's always there to provide love and support, even if your bond partner was broken apart from you.


  1. Haha, I loved this! It's so true!
    Your timing is amazing. I just took the AP Chemistry test today! O.O

  2. Genius!
    Love your originality.

    This could have been written as a SL post! :D

  3. @sana Darn I should have posted it a day earlier, so you could have aced any question asking you compare atoms to relationships

    @lemons Thanks! The main problem is that all my SL posts are now being written in how-to format for my series, and this wouldn't quite work, but thanks for the compliment!

  4. Haha! You're so unique!

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    it really caught my eyes!

    Please come visit my blog ;)

  5. My High School Chem teacher actually taught bonding to us using these metaphors. o.O

    And the part about needing someone to compliment you, not complete you is SO true. Words of wisdom there, what. I once fell into the trap of a relationship that was way to interdependent and it ended up as a catastrophe of Vesuvius-like proportions... which really sucked because we cared a ton about each other. Ugh.

  6. where do you buy food for your velociraptor?


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