Wednesday, November 28, 2012

The many faces of "okay"

So, texting.  Also, Facebook or Gmail chat or whatever.  We've all had that time, like the common situation I illustrate below, when you have nothing to say but "okay."  But how to do it?  Do you use "ok?" Or maybe just "k?"  Today, I solve the conundrum!

Let's get down to it, then!

Option One: "Okay"
It's simple.  It's classic.  What more to say?

- Classy
- Traditional
- Makes you sound British.  Not that British people say "okay" any more than any other people, just that saying the full "okay" makes you sound like the kind of person who sips tea by the fire wearing a bow tie.

- Long.  I mean, four letters is a lot to type when I'm such an important person
- Makes you sound formal, like a stuffy penguin who never has any fun.
This penguin is clearly stuck-up and unfriendly.  Don't be like this penguin.

Option Two: "'kay"
A nice abbreviation that lets you skip a whole letter, sort of.

- The apostrophe in 'kay makes you sound kind of like Hagrid.  And half-giants are cool.  What's that?  You're just big-boned?  I didn't mean to offend you.
- Sounds kinda ghetto.  'kay, man, fo' shizzle.

- Sounds kinda ghetto.
- Apostrophes are hard on most phones.  And skipping the apostrophe and just saying "kay" is just wrong.  I mean, what if it's someone's name?
Gangsta penguins (like this bad guys) say 'kay

Option Three: "k"
One of the most scorned abbreviations on the internet

- Short and simple
- Can be used interchangeably with "potassium," to the confusion of all your non-nerd friends

- Could get you scorned or killed slowly with a blunt weapon

Option Four: "kk"
For those who want to sound cute, and don't want to open themselves to the derision of the "k" users.

Can't think of any

- sounds dumb
- could be accidentally mistyped as "kkk," leading to many potentially awkward situations.

This is the penguin that "kk" reminds me of

Option Five: "OK" or "ok" or "Ok"
I use OK because that's what my phone corrects it to.  You might use ok.  "Ok" makes me thing of the alot.  I think that the Ok would would be a cross between an oxen and a kangaroo, and it is summoned in awkward conversations when the only thing left to say is "Ok."

- Simple.
- Socially acceptable

- From this point on, whenever you see the word "Ok," you will now have the image of the terrifying ox-kangaroo cross-breed I have created.  I am very sorry.
That came out looking much less cool and much more demented-centaur
than I was intending.  I apologize.

Wait, what's that you say?  This post needs more penguin pictures?  All right.  I comply with your demands.

I urge you to watch this video. 

Thursday, November 8, 2012

A bit late but...the election happened

And I am SO not going to talk about it.  I love political arguments, but I have no desire to get in one right now.  So I'm not going to give my opinion.

By the way, in case you're wondering, the best wayto win any political argument is to call your opponent a communist.  Nothing can ever go wrong if you do this.  I swear.

My friend and I do that.  We start debating something, and it desintegrates into calling each other members of various political parties throughout history, which aren't really insults but are fun to say insultingly.
"You're a communist!"
"You're a socialist!"
"Know-Nothing partier!"
"War Hawk!"

...and so on.  After taking AP US, I know a lot of historical political parties.

Moral of this story?  No matter who you rooted for in this election, be glad that we didn't elect a Know-Nothing partier.  They were basically the "Americans are superior; keeep out the immigrants" party and were anti-[insert any minority race or religion here].  They died out in the late 1850s.