I cleaned out my backpack today

My mom always nags me about how heavy my backpack is, and I always insist that I need everything that's in it.  Well, since school's over tomorrow, I cleaned it out today.  Here's what I found.  You can tell me if you think I really need it all, but I swear: it's all necessary.

Things I Found In My Backpack (Besides, you know, actual schoolwork and things)

• 2 books (I, Lucifer and Virals)
• 1 planner (unused since February)
• 3 Rubik's cubes (one normal, one from the Mathworks, one hell cube)
• 1 Book Sock (cupcake design)
• 1 HUGE binder clip (like three inches wide)
• 10 erasable gel pens (my favorite things in the world)
• 1 bottle of White-Out
• 2 calculators (scientific and graphing)
• 2 zombie finger puppets (necessary-I swear)
• 1 school ID card (squashed beneath my math textbook)
• 1 Vera Bradley change purse
• 1 yellow highlighter
• 1 silver Sharpie
• 1 dinosaur rubber ducky (Again, this was completely necessary to carry to school every day)
• 18 buttons (like the pin type that I stick on my backpack)
• 2 CDs
• 1 DVD (thankfully in a case)
• Approximately 400 vocab notecards (I didn't count, sorry)
• 5 chopsticks (not sure where the 5th one's partner went)
• 1 tube of body lotion (made everything in my backpack smell like pomegranate)
• 1 hairbrush
• 2 necklaces

You never know when you might need these things, okay?  I like to be prepared!

I don't know what "Leibster" means, but it sounds fancy

UPDATE:

This is the second post in a row that has been up for a day or two with no title.  I generally title posts after I write them, and now I'm forgetting to go back and title them.  If I forget again, you have permission to virtual-slap me in the comments.

It would appear as though I have been awarded an award, which is a rewarding feeling, and since this award was awarded to me by Gabi who I don't think is creepy. I think I should be awarded another award for the award-winning usage of some form of the word "award" in these few award-winning sentences.

Onto the blog award.  Basically, it means I have to tell you 7 things about me then tag 7 people with under 100 followers.  Let us commence the battle of wits!

*Though not really a battle since, considering I'm the one writing all this anyways, it's a bit biased, but hey, who said it was a fair Battle of Wits?  If it was fair, Westley would not be immune to iocane powder, and where would that leave us?  Being thrown off the Cliffs of Insanity, most likely.

1) I am more than slightly obsessed with The Princess Bride, and if you have not seen/read it, I shall strike you with an ax.

II) I just learned that "ax" is not spelled "axe" even though I always thought it was.  I guess "Axe" is just how they spell the deodorant.

c) Thee may be surprised to learneth that, upon occasion, I may enjoy to speaketh in a style which dost be similar to that of the Olde English.  Tis a most pleasant merriment.

iv) My hair has been dyed pink on and off for the last six months, but I didn't bleach my hair first so you couldn't really see it.

cinq) I can't roll my tongue or touch my nose or have a hitchhiker's thumb or anything cool like that.

6) I know over 100 digits of pi.

G) I refuse to number things in a normal fashion.

AND....drumroll...to the tagging!
Umm....

•  Ohmygoodnessgraciousgosh because I think it's funny how I started saying the blog title in normal conversation.
• Randomly Yakking, though I can't find the follower count (I'm likely blind), if I'm wrong we can just pretend you have less than 100.
• Defenestrated Feet who shares my fascination with shoes.
• Irrefutable Rules of Teenage Life because she's a Sparkler (we gotta stick together) and her URL has velociraptors in it.
• [I Am Unimaginative] because she's awesome.  DFTBA.
• Color it Awesomesauce because she appreciates the awesomeness of "awesome"
• Chronicles of Beck because she's quite funny and needs some followers, peeps.

Hope I didn't leave anyone out.  If you're reading this and being offended because I forgot to tag you, I apologize and place the blame on my press secretary, my pet rock, Westley.  Any complaints should be sent to him.

Finally, I have to leave you with this picture my friend showed me.  Maybe I'm just slow and everyone's seen it, but I cracked up.  Pretend like you think it's hilarious too so I don't feel bad.

It's "A Dell Rolling in the Deep"!!!

The Math of Love (Or is it the Love of Math?)

I have a confession to make.  It has to do with love.  And math.

Which is not such a weird combination.  Famous awesome people think about it a lot.  Like Randall Munroe.

Sure, he couldn't figure it out.  But I have.  No, this doesn't have anything to do with a math geek I might have a crush on, it's about MATH.

Ok.

Confession time.

*Ahem*

I...ummm....I love my calculator.

Yep.  That's it.  I hope that's not too weird.  And I don't mean that I, like, want to do things with it cuz that's disgusting and all you people have extremely dirty minds.  Get your minds out of the gutter, people, and think about happy things like calculators.

Now, explanation.  I've had my scientific calculator since freshman year.  Looks like this: 

And I love it.  It's so useful!  It can solve quadratic equations and systems of equations and simplify radicals and amazing things like that.  It saved me in Algebra II.  And I love it, oh so very much.

So this entire explanation has been so that you can understand the situation in the following awkward story that happened to me:

So I need a graphing calculator for Pre-Calc, so my mom and I go to Staples.  We look at the calculators and try to decide whether or not I need the Silver Edition of the calculator.  Pretty normal.  But then, on the shelf nearby, I spot my beloved Casio calculator.

"Look, Mom!!"  I say, pointing with enthusiasm, "There's my scientific calculator!!  I love that calculator soooo much!"

My mom looks a bit weirded out, but then I notice this random guy who was standing there looking at the calculators.  He was looking at the calculators, but now he's looking at me as though I turned into a velociraptor on the spot.  He doesn't say anything, just looks at me for a long while.  In the meantime, I mutters something like "Umm....sorry...just...ummm...talking to my mom, sorry..." and then pretend to be extremely engrossed in studying the TI-84 Plus like it's the most interesting thing ever.  AWKWARD.

True story.  Now you can see that my love for my calculator has spawned some awkwardness.  Not to mention my friend laughed when I told her the next day and said it was slightly weird that I am unnaturally attached to my calculator.  She's just jealous :P

Movie Theaters and Airplanes: Who Gets the Armrest?

The above was the title of my thesis for Danny B**.  My subsequent nickname was the epic "The Dweller of Places Long Forgotten (TDOLF)."  I think I win because my nickname is longer than anyone else's.  Also, I did not get into Pottermore, so I will now live life as a sad and lonely hermit until October.

**By the way, the point I would argue for my thesis is that there are several options for movie theater/airplane etiquette.  You could either:
a) Let your seat-neighbor have the armrest
b) Hog the armrest
c) Weirdly share the armrest (ex. One person's elbow on the front half, one person's elbow on the back half)
d) Stack your arms awkwardly
e) No one gets the armrest
f) Write a petition to movie theaters to fix the problem.  Also, sit in first class
g) Move on and ignore the little annoyances in life

I spend my days at a summer camp wrangling small children, which doesn't make for interesting blog content.  I could talk about how we had to ban forks yesterday because the girls were combing their hair with them.  I could talk about how I got attacked by 8-year-old identical twins tickling me, which is a disconcerting experience because when I hold one back, another one that looks exactly the same comes at me.   And this is what every single day is like for me.  I think I deserve a higher pay rate.  I didn't know until now that counselors aren't even paid minimum wage.  Oh well.

To take breaks in between crazy AP World History work, I've been online.  So here's some pictures I found, copied and pasted here just for you!  Credit: iwastesomuchtime.com

I can see Russia from here...

I just spent 2 weeks in Alaska on a Girl Scout trip, so forgive the lack of posts for the past many days.  I apologize greatly.  I saw amazing things, wildlife like moose (meese? Goose plural is geese, so moose plural is meese), bears, caribou, ptarmigans, whales, and puffins.  And mountains.  Crazy amazing mountains.  I could just sit and stare at those mountains for hours on end.  I was disappointed that we didn't get to go hiking, so I already promised myself I'm going back someday.

Awesome moments include:

• Running down the hallway at the hotel in Anchorage to stare at gorgeous guys in the hot tub.
• An intense game of Egyptian Rat-Screw at a restaurant that ends in two spilled Diet Cokes.
• Singing "Edge of Glory" on a public tour bus, shortly followed by "Don't Stop Believing".
• Watching Finding Nemo and quoting it for the rest of the trip.
• The discovery that one of the other girls knew who Danny B was.
• Singing "Love Story" on a fishing boat, and seeing whales right in the middle so it went something like..."He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring and said WHALES!!!"
• Seeing a batmobile parked on the side of the highway
• My t-shirt from Denali National Park:

• Getting a free dinosaur rubber ducky at a flea market
• Touring an underground abandoned WWII bunker
• Offering a little girl a balloon animal I'd gotten - and getting rejected
• Stealing about 30 total blankets from Delta Airlines
• These t-shirts found in the airport in Las Vegas

Ninjapiratezombierobot

 Today, my friends, we bring a very controversial topic to the table.  Before we begin the pleasant conversation/discussion/debate/war/total annihilation of anyone who disagrees with you (that was the progression of most in-class debates I have in school), let's lay some ground rules.

1. No throwing spoons at people.
2. Keep your voice level between that of a platypus at lunchtime and typewriter at 49.8 wpm.
3. No sic-ing dinosaurs on anyone.
4. Anyone who mentions pea soup will be thrown out.

If you break any rules, I will sic my velociraptor on you.  And no, I am not breaking Rule #3, because I made the rules, so I'm allowed to break them.  If you have a problem with that, let me know the time, place, and weapon and we'll discuss the matter reasonably.

So...the topic of today's debate is:

Yep.  Ninjapiratezombierobot.
It sums up all the awesome things about life.  Well, except wizards and Darren Criss and dinosaurs.  And whipped cream and loam.  But close enough, okay? 
It also sums up the controversies of life.  Obviously, are you Team Ninja or Team Pirate?

Team Ninja has katanas, night vision, death gazes of death, ninja stars (see diagram, left hand), and awesomeness.
Team Pirate has Jack Sparrow, Captain Hook (see diagram, right hand), swords, cannons, eyepatches, and awesomeness.

And then, of course, there's robots and zombies.  The Roboters believe that the world will end when the robots gain sentience and will destroy us all.  The Zombiers believe that the world will end when the zombies come back to life and destroy us all.

Of course, there are other opinions.  There are the Mayaners, whose Bible is the movie 2012.  Also, the Obesitiers, who believe childhood obesity will eat us all from the inside out.  And the Staplers, who plan to destroy the world with a staple gun.  There are so many opinions on how the world will end.

Is it strange that there is no one out there predicting how the world will NOT end???

Damn, Rapture was epic

There were trolls and lions, and seas of acidic raccoons.  I saw a golden man on fire and killed a guy with a trident.  Then, a large wave of purple antifreeze swept over the land, turning all the staple guns into real guns.  The carpenters went to war with the miners, and there was a large collapse in the mine tunnel, which left a sinkhole a few hundred miles wide and deep in the middle of Washington D.C.

Then I woke up in heaven, and realized I'd been ascended.  I looked around in wonder.  It looked a lot like my bedroom, except that someone had opened my curtains, blinding me with light which I assumed to be the wonder of God.  But then I blinked and God became a ray of sunlight that started hurting my eyes, so I looked away.  I hadn't been ascended, because the apocalypse is a myth.  Why?  Because "apocalypse" rhymes with "velociraptor" and therefore there won't be an apocalypse until I finish my mad scientific studies to bring velociraptors back to life.  Except it won't be like Jurassic Park.  Instead of having people pay money to look at them, I'll send them out as a team of highly trained ninja assassins.  And life will be good.

I'm waiting for that day.  I promise.  Everyone thinks I'm crazy, but just they wait, I'll show them.

Friend: Why are you so obsessed with velociraptors?  Is this like your ninja obsession from last year?

Me: Of course not.  I wanted to be a ninja.  Now, I want to have pet velociraptors.  There's a big difference.

Friend: But both ways you're a bit obsessed with the idea.

Me: But I'm not as obsessed with ninjas anymore.  I figure once I get my velociraptors, they'll be my trained ninjas too.  Then I'm all set.

Friend: ...

Me: I mean, wouldn't you want a pet velociraptor?  I thought so.

Friend: I prefer triceratops.

Me: What?  They're so...un-vicious.  They sit around and much grass all day.  Lazy bums.  What, they have big horns?  That's special.  Sarcasm hand.

Friend: Wow, you just totally insulted my dinosaur.  Now I won't let you meet him.

Me: Wait, what?  No!  I want to meet him!

Friend: Sorry.  Missed your chance.

Me: Rawr.

Now if only Rapture had some dinosaurs.  Now that would be epic.  My brother got a t-shirt with dinosaurs wielding light sabers. You have no freaking idea how jealous I was.

This is not a velociraptor, because velociraptors are far more epic, and their epicness goes well beyond my drawing ability.  Any drawing I attempted would be a failure to convey the extents of their epicness.  So I just drew a normal dinosaur instead.