I have a problem

See, I know a lot of facts.  And I like to tell them to people, because having a more informed populace is good, right?

Well, I'm just afraid my friends will hate me.

Consider the following, which was posted on my Facebook wall by a very good friend, whom I'm very close with:

My first reaction was to comment something like this:

"Actually, it wasn't a space jump.  People said that Felix jumped from 'the edge of space,' but actually, the (arbitrarily) politically defined 'edge of space' is 100 km above Earth, and Felix only jumped from 37 km up.   However, if we're talking about the scientific edge of space, you could say that there are still remnants of earth's atmosphere as far as 10000 km away.  However, it is the highest he could have physically gotten in his helium balloon, because helium rises only because it is less dense than air.  The atmosphere gets less dense the higher you go, so above 37 km, helium is no longer less dense than the atmosphere, and the balloon won't rise any higher.  I agree though, it was a pretty cool jump."

However, I read that over, and immediately I became slightly worried that my friend would hate me to the end of time for going all factual on what was clearly meant as a fun post.

So, as of yet, I haven't commented.  I don't know what to say!

This problem isn't new, either.  And the last time, I actually posted the comment.  AND it was on a political post, making it 10 times worse.

One of my friends was talking about the news that Romney was using a KKK slogan in his campaign.  This sounded ridiculous to me, so I googled it.  I found the following sources of information:
a) The campaign video that used the alleged KKK slogan
b) The Washington Post article that accused Romney of the deed
c) The editor's note at the top of the article, which admits that the article "contains multiple serious, factual errors" including that fact that the video that sparked this whole debacle says, at the end, "Mitt Romney does not actually support this ad."

So I commented on my friend's post with this news.  I was pretty polite about it, I think.  I guess my friend was a bit unhappy with how I had ruined her anti-Romney post.  Oops.

I just don't know what to do.  I try to tell my friends interesting things (like, last week I enlightened them about how the Earth is in a stable orbit with the sun, which is what prevents us from spiraling inward into a fiery combustion).  And the other day, when we walked by a creepy winged angel statue, I educated them all about the dangers of blinking.

Seriously though.  I don't know how to reply to the Felix post.  What do I do?

Also, here's my Felix Baumgartner artwork!  The Gallifreyan text says "Sometimes you have to get really high just to see how small you are."  Which is an actual Felix quote before he jumped.

This has been bothering me for a while

Sorry to post yet another post about The Hunger Games, but I really need your input on this.  It's been bugging me.

So there are 24 kids in the Games, right?  12 girls, 12 boys.

12 girls.

If we say that your period lasts an average of five days, and there are 30 days in a month, that should mean that, at any given time, at least two of the female tributes should be on their period.

Right?

How the Capitol handle this?  Are there some boxes of Tampax hidden in the Cornucopia?  It wouldn't make sense if they girls' uniforms were made differently from the boys' to account for this, because then they might have an advantage in some way.  Are tributes responsible for bringing their own stuff?  So does this mean that any girl who'll be on her period during the Games would have to bring some tampons as their district token?  Cuz that would kind of suck.

Plus, it would give them a disadvantage in the games.  Do you really think a girl who's curled up with cramps is ready to fight to the death with some male tributes who don't need to worry about it?  Or what if there was water with sharks in it, and they smelled the blood?

Maybe the Capitol messes with their bodies so that they just don't have periods.  Wouldn't that make all the girls unable to have children?

I'm trying to remember if any of the female victors that we meet end up having kids.  Oh yeah!  **SPOILER ALERT** Katniss had kids!  **END SPOILER ALERT**

Clearly, that's incorrect then.  Besides, that would be unfair to the girls.  If they messed with the girls' bodies so they couldn't reproduce, they would have to cut off all the guys' balls or something, just to make it fair.  And Finnick makes it clear that this is not the case.

Anyone have any ideas on how this works?  Maybe I'm just reading into it way too much, but I've been wondering about this, and I'm stumped.

Am I really the only one who sees the resemblance?

This is the Puma logo:


So here's what I noticed: what if you turn the puma sideways?  Looks something like this:

Which, I think, looks something like a deranged monkey doing the Thriller dance.  This is my sister, who doesn't resemble the puma as much as I'd like, because she was pretty stubborn when I asked her to pose like a deranged monkey doing the Thriller dance.  But seriously, am I really the only one who sees what's going on here?

Well, the point of this post was to teach you that a new way to look at a puma logo.  Go forth and share the enlightenment with the world!

I enjoy messing with people

I went to the bank to get money the other day, and the bank teller guy asked me how I wanted the bills.  I said "Um...how about in two-dollar bills?"

He paused, and looked at me with a face vaguely resembling this:

But he didn't say anything, and proceeded to pull out a little official-looking envelope from a little cabinet, and counted out a whole bunch of $2 bills.  The other tellers sort of looked at him weirdly, and he didn't say anything, just handed me my stack of two-dollar bills.

Great.  My bank thinks I'm a freak.

But this doesn't matter, because I am dancing around with my fresh stack of two-dollar bills.  I love these things so much, for several reasons.

1) Sometimes, people don't know that you can just ask for them at a bank.  They think $2 bills are rare.  Therefore, if you're convincing enough, you can persuade your friends to buy them off you for $3 or so.  I haven't had any success yet, but I'm working on it.

2) My brother likes to spend them all the time because he says he's "trying to bring them back into circulation."  I love spending them too, but for a different reason.  First, the cashier always looks at me, and the bill, really weirdly.  In some cases, I've heard that cashiers vehemently accuse you of counterfeit (or just refuse it), because they don't believe there's such thing as a two-dollar bill.  Hasn't happened to me, though.  But here's my favorite part.  See, cash register have specific slots for different types of bills and coins, and they don;t have a $2 bill slot.  So their hand sort of hovers between the $1 and $5 slots, trying to figure out what to do with it.  It reminds me delightfully of the spork scene in Wall-E.

It makes me crack up every time.

The problem with feminism

I'm all for women's rights.  But the hard-core feminists both annoy me and confuse me.  Consider the following:
(yes, you did just say that like the voice from Bill Nye videos, didn't you?)

Girl: I'm making my boyfriend a sandwich!
Feminist: OH MY GOODNESS.  Do you see what you're doing?  You're sending the feminist movement right back into the 1950s!  You're making your boyfriend a sandwich?  Why is it your job?  Can't your boyfriend make himself a sandwich?  Does he have total control over you?  You're a disgrace to the female gender!

OR

Girl: My boyfriend is making me a sandwich!
Feminist: OH MY GOODNESS.  Do you see what you're doing?  You're sending the feminist movement right back into the 1950s!  You're letting your boyfriend make you a sandwich?  Why is it his job?  Can't you make yourself a sandwich?  Does he have total control over you?  You're a disgrace to the female gender!

My friends, do we see a flaw here?  Niceness is has apparently become sexist.  How about, instead of thinking about how horrible making sandwiches for the opposite gender is, we think about solving global problems?

One last thought that I found really cool (It's actually a quote (by that I mean paraphrase) from a Muslim philosopher, how about that?)
"God didn't take Eve from Adam's feet, or his head.  God took her from his rib.  That's because God didn't want Eve to kneel at his feet, or be superior, but for them to stand side by side as equals."

Ninjapiratezombierobot

 Today, my friends, we bring a very controversial topic to the table.  Before we begin the pleasant conversation/discussion/debate/war/total annihilation of anyone who disagrees with you (that was the progression of most in-class debates I have in school), let's lay some ground rules.

1. No throwing spoons at people.
2. Keep your voice level between that of a platypus at lunchtime and typewriter at 49.8 wpm.
3. No sic-ing dinosaurs on anyone.
4. Anyone who mentions pea soup will be thrown out.

If you break any rules, I will sic my velociraptor on you.  And no, I am not breaking Rule #3, because I made the rules, so I'm allowed to break them.  If you have a problem with that, let me know the time, place, and weapon and we'll discuss the matter reasonably.

So...the topic of today's debate is:

Yep.  Ninjapiratezombierobot.
It sums up all the awesome things about life.  Well, except wizards and Darren Criss and dinosaurs.  And whipped cream and loam.  But close enough, okay? 
It also sums up the controversies of life.  Obviously, are you Team Ninja or Team Pirate?

Team Ninja has katanas, night vision, death gazes of death, ninja stars (see diagram, left hand), and awesomeness.
Team Pirate has Jack Sparrow, Captain Hook (see diagram, right hand), swords, cannons, eyepatches, and awesomeness.

And then, of course, there's robots and zombies.  The Roboters believe that the world will end when the robots gain sentience and will destroy us all.  The Zombiers believe that the world will end when the zombies come back to life and destroy us all.

Of course, there are other opinions.  There are the Mayaners, whose Bible is the movie 2012.  Also, the Obesitiers, who believe childhood obesity will eat us all from the inside out.  And the Staplers, who plan to destroy the world with a staple gun.  There are so many opinions on how the world will end.

Is it strange that there is no one out there predicting how the world will NOT end???

So we're all going to die today, huh? What happened to 12-21-12?

So this will be my last blog post ever.  How depressing.

I honestly don't really get this Rapture stuff.  Seems so random.  Who gets the power to decide when the world will end?
I predict it will end on May 4, 2086.  Two hundred years after the Haymarket Square Bombing in 1886.  Just because.  Look!  I'm an apocalypse predictor!

This cartoon from xkcd pretty much sums up my views on this Rapture stuff:

Tomorrow, we will all look back and laugh.  The same thing will happen on December 22, 2012.  I mean, honestly, if the Mayans were such good predictors they should have seen the Spanish coming.
But whatever, I've already written a post about the Mayans.  See?  This is getting pathetic.  There are already so many apocalypse predictions that I've written 2 posts about them withing the 5 months of each other.  This is getting ridiculous.  Seriously people.

Oh well.  I could just go out and kill a few dozen people, then this won't even affect me, right?

UPDATE: So I Google-News'd this and apparantly, 6 PM has already happened in Europe.  Either no one in the Eastern hemisphere is worthy of ascension, or this is really pathetic and humans are stupid and guillible.  Guess which I'm betting for?

I could write about the new Duke and Duchess of Cambridge but...nah

I've already written a SparkLife post about the Royal Wedding, and it's not getting anymore coverage from me.  Kate and her new hubby can go kiss on the balcony all they want and look all sweet and couple-y.  It's cool and all but this is getting more attention that.... I can't think of an example.  So sort of horrible disaster.  Aren't there tornadoes in Alabama right now?  No one cares about the poor Alabamians because they'll all baking scones and speaking in British accents (yes, I did both today).

But anywho, let's get down to business.
TO DEFEAT THE HUNS!

...ummm ahem.  What?  I didn't say anything.  But yea, times are tough.  I had to correct my brother because he seemed to think today was the anniversary of the Haymarket Square Riot in 1886, when a bomb went off in Chicago.  A bunch of anarchists were convicted without much evidence, and it was a drawback for the advancement of labor unions.  But he's WRONG.  It was on May 4.

...I have to babysit in like 10 minutes.  I'm thinking about that and I can't even be funny.  I knew there was something funny I wanted to say, but it slipped my mind.  Now everyone will think I'm a loser.
I like bananas!
And I only know how to spell that because Gwen Stefani taught me.

Other things I've learned from songs:
There are 86,400 seconds in a day. ("Live Like We're Dying" -Kris Allen)
There are 525,600 minutes in a year. ("Seasons of Love" from Rent)

Whoa!  Kris Allen sings that song???  As in the American Idol dude who beat Adam Lambert, who is awesome?  That's to bad, because I totally hayed Kris Allen because he didn't have any good songs.  But now my life has been a lie.  This is not fair.  Now I don't have a suitable reason for hating him for beating Adam Lambert.

My mind has been taken over by a little parasite called "history"

I keep blogging about APUSH.  You're probably so sick or it by now that you want to reach through the screen and strangle me if I mention that abbreviation once more.  If so, that's awesome!  It means I'm not alone in my misery.  It also means I find joy in your suffering.  So ha.

Anyway, we have a new girl in APUSH today.  From Florida.  A week and a half before the AP exam.  Wow.  I feel kind of bad for her, because our class is so completely unlike any other class ever.  Extremely unstructured, weird, and crazy.

But if you want proof (or "factual evidence" as we say in history) of us being total nerds, we introduced ourselves by going around and saying our names and favorite historical figure.

Mine?  Guess, and I'll tell ya later.

Notable moments:

"So then Ronald Reagan gets elected and he destroys all the evil Commies with his sword.  Write that on the AP exam!  'Ronald Reagan destroyed the Commies with his sword.' "
"So it's like Teddy Roosevelt's Big Stick, except sharper?"

"Fighting in Korea was nothing but America defending its overinflated ego.  The big, bad Soviet bullies were trying to take our toy truck in the sandbox, and man, we were gonna get them back because WE are the sandbox bullies and they had better not challenge us!"

"I think what we've agreed upon here is that the best policy is to always lie to the American people, and you're golden."

"At one point in the arms race, the US and Soviets combined had enough nuclear weaponry to blow up the Earth eleven times."
"What?  That makes no sense...why blow it up eleven times?  That's stupid."
"So you don't care if the world gets blown up, so long as it only happens once?  This is why the future is doomed."

History Can Be Amusing

So we're talking about Cold War and atomic bombs in APUSH.
An interesting point came up - H-Bombs are hydrogen bombs.  Is it possible to make a bomb out of fluorine?
Because then we would be dropping F-bombs.

Hahahaha :)

Sharing is Caring

...which is why I am sharing this absolutely beautiful screenshot with you all today.  Except I edited it out to hide my name (because I'm logged in to Gmail) and all my weird bookmarks.
This is why Google hates us.

Has made dinosuar cookies

So my sister and I made some dinosaur cookies the other day.  We found these dinosaur-shaped cookie cutters in the back of the closet - I couldn't resist!  These go way high up there on my list of dinosaur things I love.  I LOVE the Kraft dinosaur-shaped mac n cheese, but those have to be eaten by the spoonful.  Dinosaur cookies, on the other hand, can be made to fight each other while slowly being devoured limb by limb.  This is best when you follow my example and add sound effects as well.  It is extremely rewarded to be growling and munching cookies while having they attack each other.  I highly recommend the experience.

It got me thinking about dinosaurs.  I mean, why are there no more left?  Clearly, natural selection is cruel, because dinosaurs are far cooler than chipmunks or snakes or whatever we currently have.  If you think about it, natural selection is pretty smart.  It gave us platypi and bananas and turtles.  Clearly, it has good judgment, and would have left the dinosaurs for us.  Which leaves the idea that...

Pickles Will Kill You

The truth has been revealed about the murderous nature of pickles.
Not by me.  I didn't write this.  I "borrowed" it from this website.

Every pickle you eat brings you closer to death.  Amazingly, the "thinking man" has failed to grasp the terrifying significance of the term, "in a pickle." Pickles are associated with all the major diseases of the body. Eating them breeds wars and communism.  They can be related to most airline tragedies.  Auto accidents are caused by pickles.  There exists a positive relationship between crime waves and consumption of this fruit of the curcurbit family.  For example:

• Nearly all sick people have eaten pickles.  The effects are obviously cumulative. 
• 99.9% of all people who die from cancer have eaten pickles.
• 100% of all soldiers have eaten pickles. 
• 96.8% of all communist sympathizers have eaten pickles. 
• 99.7% of the people involved in air and auto accidents ate pickles within 14 days preceding the accident. 
• 93.1% of juvenile deliquents come from homes where pickles are served. 

Evidence points to long term effects of eating pickles:

• Of the people born in 1839 who later dined on pickles, there has been a mortality rate of 100%.
• All pickle eaters born between 1908 and 1918 have wrinkled skin, have lost most of their teeth, have brittle bones, and failing eyesight--if the ills of eating pickles have not already caused their death. 

Even more convincing is the report of a noted team of medical specialists:
Rats force-fed with 20 pounds of pickles per day for 30 days developed bulging abdomens.  Their appetites for wholesome food were destroyed.

In spite of all the evidence, pickles growers and packers continue to spread their evil.  More than 120,000 acres of fertile US soil are devoted to growing pickles.  Our per capita consumption is 4 pounds.

Eat orchid petal soup.  Practically no one has as many problems from eating orchid petal soup as they do from eating pickles.