Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Buy your very own hipster, only $58

My sister got her very own hipster for Christmas!

Seriously, Vera Bradley makes a kind of purse called a hipster. My sister got one for Christmas.  All night, my brother and I were making hipster jokes.

"She's going to wear it ironically."

"She wore hipsters before it was cool."

"Normal purses are too mainstream."

And things of that nature.  I kind of want my own, just so I can tell people I have my very own personal hipster.  It stays by my side and carries my things for me.

The only problem is, Vera Bradley doesn't offer "vintage" or "ironic" patterns.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Luck of the Jeans

So I have a pair of Lucky brand jeans.  I love them because they're comfy.  However, there is one other reason I love them as well.  They have a sense of humor!

I see you staring at me, whispering to your friends.  "Haha, she thinks her jeans have a sense of humor...know any good mental institutions nearby?"

I swear I'm not crazy, just mildly wacky.  But that's okay.  Weirdness is in direct proportion with awesomeness.

My jeans have a sense of humor.  If you're wearing jeans, look down at your crotch  (this is an awkward command).

You know that little flap of fabric behind the zipper?  Looks like this:

Pretty normal-looking flap of fabric, right?  Nothing particularly noteworthy.  However, my Lucky jeans took it a step further.  Because what's the first thing you see when you unzip the pants?  That fabric flap.  So...

It makes me laugh every time I take off my jeans.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

New favorite Greek letter

It used to be pi, because it was cool and you could memorize it and all, but pi ain't got nothin' on phi.

No, not because it is the golden ratio (1.61803399...) or anything.  For something far more exciting than that (at least to me.)

Consider the following:
See that thingy over to the side there?  That's phi.  It's nice and Greek-looking, correct?  Well, it's better than what your first glance may let on...

In physics, we used phi to represent angle measure (for when we have multiple angles and theta is already taken).  So, please note the fantastic things that can be done with phi:
Phi, plus the crappy triangle (I'm not very good with straight lines).
What does this equal?  No, not phi-delta.  It equals....drumroll...
I hope my teacher doesn't mind that I replaced all the phis on my quiz with Deathly Hallow symbols...

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

The problem with feminism

I'm all for women's rights.  But the hard-core feminists both annoy me and confuse me.  Consider the following:
(yes, you did just say that like the voice from Bill Nye videos, didn't you?)

Girl: I'm making my boyfriend a sandwich!
Feminist: OH MY GOODNESS.  Do you see what you're doing?  You're sending the feminist movement right back into the 1950s!  You're making your boyfriend a sandwich?  Why is it your job?  Can't your boyfriend make himself a sandwich?  Does he have total control over you?  You're a disgrace to the female gender!


Girl: My boyfriend is making me a sandwich!
Feminist: OH MY GOODNESS.  Do you see what you're doing?  You're sending the feminist movement right back into the 1950s!  You're letting your boyfriend make you a sandwich?  Why is it his job?  Can't you make yourself a sandwich?  Does he have total control over you?  You're a disgrace to the female gender!

My friends, do we see a flaw here?  Niceness is has apparently become sexist.  How about, instead of thinking about how horrible making sandwiches for the opposite gender is, we think about solving global problems?

One last thought that I found really cool (It's actually a quote (by that I mean paraphrase) from a Muslim philosopher, how about that?)
"God didn't take Eve from Adam's feet, or his head.  God took her from his rib.  That's because God didn't want Eve to kneel at his feet, or be superior, but for them to stand side by side as equals."

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Girl Scout Cookie season is upon us

I'm a Girl Scout, and the only decent cookies out there are the Caramel deLites/Samoas.
Gasp!  Go ahead, cart me off to Girl Scout prison, where they keep the cookie-dissenters, the refusers-to-wear-the-vest, and the most frightful criminal of all, the Girl-Scout-who-won't-sing-camp-songs.

In all seriousness, I love Girl Scouts.  The cookie sales are a little dubious, that's all.
They make it seem like selling cookies goes like this:
But actually, cookie selling goes more like this:

It's a very difficult trade.  They try to bribe you (If you sell 2400 boxes, you get an iPad) but it's unreasonable to expect anyone with half a life to sell many.  And if you think you're supporting that cute little girl on your stoop when you buy her cookies?  Wrong - more than 80% of the money goes to the council: troops only get 60 cents per box.

Want to actually help Girl Scouts?  Just give a donation.  I know it's hard, but can you resist those delicious, processed, mass-produced cookies?