Wednesday, May 18, 2011

I bet my parents hoped they'd never have to pick me up from the police station...

It would have been better if I'd called from the police station phone.  I used my cell phone, but it had the same effect, in the end.

"Hey, mom...yeah, I'm at the police station...I need you to pick me up..."

I was at the police station.  The whole thing was just freaky.  No, I was not getting arrested.  I was reporting someone.  No idea if it was a crime or not but our late bus driver was being freaky.  As in, possibly high/drunk.  Not knowing where he was, not knowing which was right or left, not knowing how to read a speedometer, asking a kid to drive the bus for him.  It was actually really scary, so a girl who lives near me and I got off in the center of town because we were scared to be on the bus with him.  Her mom recommended we tell the police, so we did.

Speaking of which, interrogation rooms in the police headquarters are scary.  Dim lighting, cement floor, the whole deal.  We weren't even being interrogated, we just used the room because it had enough chairs.

Regardless, let's talk about something happier.
Dead fingers?
Would gloves without fingers be mittens or socks?
Why do we have toes?
I do not mean to pry, but do you happen to have six fingers on your right hand?

My life is boring.  I'm reduced to quoting movies I already quote waaaayyy too much and my friends make fun of me for it.  I argued with my friend today over whether Darren Criss can sing or not.  I hope she was kidding because I might disown her or something.  I think she compared his vocal abilities to a narwhal.

Is that a compliment?  I've never heard a narwhal sing.
OH! Random tangent.  My friend told me today that her friend is class president at a nearby high school and proposed adopting a school narwhal instead of having prom.  I fully support that!  Note to self: suggest to student council.
...except my friends love those kind of dancy things and would probably shoot me.  I like them too, but GUYS!  It's a freaking NARWHAL for crying out loud.
I could go into a whole new spiel about how Unicorn and Whale hooked up (Unicorn went behind Hippo's back - even though she had already had a child with him, Rhino) that one romantic night in Bermuda, and Narwhal was the result.  And how he was so ashamed of his mother's infidelity that he moved far away from the site if conception - up to the North Atlantic.
But I won't.  You already know about the Fork/Spoon debacle, you probably don't need the details of Unicorn's *ahem* intimate life.

AUGH! I just realized I went on a random tangent again.  People, this is not looking bright.  Pray for my mental sanity.  And blame my APUSH teacher.  Here's our theory:
He's a ginger.  So, by default, he has no soul.  But he wasn't happy with that, so he had taken all of his student's souls so he is not alone in his suffering.  That is why I am slowly dying.  By the end of the year my soul will have been completely sucked away.
Hmm...maybe he's a Dementor.  Though he doesn't obtain our souls by kissing...Oh God that's a freaky thought.  Save me.  My mind is dying, it's clear.  Ah.


  1. It would have been so funny if you had called your mother from the police station phone!!! It would have been even funnier if you had been arrested for something totally ridiculous.

    Your bus driver sounds like he needs to be fired.

    Interrogation rooms automatically make me think of CSI and Bones and Law & Order: SVU. Those don't creep me out- they're happy thoughts!

    I'm curious to know how dead fingers could be considered a happier topic.

    Also, The Princess Bride is amazing. End of story, goodbye, the end! Any questions?

    Narwhals are magnificent singers so in reality, your friend was complimenting Darren. They sound like a cross between a siren's- the mystical creature- voice and a velociraptor's. We all know that velociraptors are amazing singers ;)


    Also, I resent that theory. Redheads aren't soulless. My cousins are redheads. They have souls. They're just evil.

    I accept the theory of him being a Dementor, however. That seems perfectly plausible.


    Unfortunately, an image of a unicorn humping a hump back whale is stuck in my head now.

  3. I think my mind is trying to tell me something...first Sporks, now Narwhals. I didn't do it. What's next, a story about how gas-guzzling Jeep Highlander hooked up with SmartCar to make Prius? Augghhh :)


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