The problem with feminism

I'm all for women's rights.  But the hard-core feminists both annoy me and confuse me.  Consider the following:
(yes, you did just say that like the voice from Bill Nye videos, didn't you?)

Girl: I'm making my boyfriend a sandwich!
Feminist: OH MY GOODNESS.  Do you see what you're doing?  You're sending the feminist movement right back into the 1950s!  You're making your boyfriend a sandwich?  Why is it your job?  Can't your boyfriend make himself a sandwich?  Does he have total control over you?  You're a disgrace to the female gender!

OR

Girl: My boyfriend is making me a sandwich!
Feminist: OH MY GOODNESS.  Do you see what you're doing?  You're sending the feminist movement right back into the 1950s!  You're letting your boyfriend make you a sandwich?  Why is it his job?  Can't you make yourself a sandwich?  Does he have total control over you?  You're a disgrace to the female gender!

My friends, do we see a flaw here?  Niceness is has apparently become sexist.  How about, instead of thinking about how horrible making sandwiches for the opposite gender is, we think about solving global problems?

One last thought that I found really cool (It's actually a quote (by that I mean paraphrase) from a Muslim philosopher, how about that?)
"God didn't take Eve from Adam's feet, or his head.  God took her from his rib.  That's because God didn't want Eve to kneel at his feet, or be superior, but for them to stand side by side as equals."

Damn, Rapture was epic

There were trolls and lions, and seas of acidic raccoons.  I saw a golden man on fire and killed a guy with a trident.  Then, a large wave of purple antifreeze swept over the land, turning all the staple guns into real guns.  The carpenters went to war with the miners, and there was a large collapse in the mine tunnel, which left a sinkhole a few hundred miles wide and deep in the middle of Washington D.C.

Then I woke up in heaven, and realized I'd been ascended.  I looked around in wonder.  It looked a lot like my bedroom, except that someone had opened my curtains, blinding me with light which I assumed to be the wonder of God.  But then I blinked and God became a ray of sunlight that started hurting my eyes, so I looked away.  I hadn't been ascended, because the apocalypse is a myth.  Why?  Because "apocalypse" rhymes with "velociraptor" and therefore there won't be an apocalypse until I finish my mad scientific studies to bring velociraptors back to life.  Except it won't be like Jurassic Park.  Instead of having people pay money to look at them, I'll send them out as a team of highly trained ninja assassins.  And life will be good.

I'm waiting for that day.  I promise.  Everyone thinks I'm crazy, but just they wait, I'll show them.

Friend: Why are you so obsessed with velociraptors?  Is this like your ninja obsession from last year?

Me: Of course not.  I wanted to be a ninja.  Now, I want to have pet velociraptors.  There's a big difference.

Friend: But both ways you're a bit obsessed with the idea.

Me: But I'm not as obsessed with ninjas anymore.  I figure once I get my velociraptors, they'll be my trained ninjas too.  Then I'm all set.

Friend: ...

Me: I mean, wouldn't you want a pet velociraptor?  I thought so.

Friend: I prefer triceratops.

Me: What?  They're so...un-vicious.  They sit around and much grass all day.  Lazy bums.  What, they have big horns?  That's special.  Sarcasm hand.

Friend: Wow, you just totally insulted my dinosaur.  Now I won't let you meet him.

Me: Wait, what?  No!  I want to meet him!

Friend: Sorry.  Missed your chance.

Me: Rawr.

Now if only Rapture had some dinosaurs.  Now that would be epic.  My brother got a t-shirt with dinosaurs wielding light sabers. You have no freaking idea how jealous I was.

This is not a velociraptor, because velociraptors are far more epic, and their epicness goes well beyond my drawing ability.  Any drawing I attempted would be a failure to convey the extents of their epicness.  So I just drew a normal dinosaur instead.

So we're all going to die today, huh? What happened to 12-21-12?

So this will be my last blog post ever.  How depressing.

I honestly don't really get this Rapture stuff.  Seems so random.  Who gets the power to decide when the world will end?
I predict it will end on May 4, 2086.  Two hundred years after the Haymarket Square Bombing in 1886.  Just because.  Look!  I'm an apocalypse predictor!

This cartoon from xkcd pretty much sums up my views on this Rapture stuff:

Tomorrow, we will all look back and laugh.  The same thing will happen on December 22, 2012.  I mean, honestly, if the Mayans were such good predictors they should have seen the Spanish coming.
But whatever, I've already written a post about the Mayans.  See?  This is getting pathetic.  There are already so many apocalypse predictions that I've written 2 posts about them withing the 5 months of each other.  This is getting ridiculous.  Seriously people.

Oh well.  I could just go out and kill a few dozen people, then this won't even affect me, right?

UPDATE: So I Google-News'd this and apparantly, 6 PM has already happened in Europe.  Either no one in the Eastern hemisphere is worthy of ascension, or this is really pathetic and humans are stupid and guillible.  Guess which I'm betting for?

I Missed Easter!

You may notice I have a thing for posting on holidays.  Automatic subject, without even thinking!  But I missed Easter.  Oops.  I was too busy going on Facebook.

I gave up Facebook for Lent.  Lent is the 40 days before Easter where you give up something you like, to show God how much you love God and are willing to make sacrifices for God.  And so on.  So I gave up Facebook.  It was a long, trying 40 days, with my friends getting mad at me because they had no idea how to communicate with me now.  I lived in a lonely little cave in the Arctic Circle for 40 days, for all they knew.

But I got back yesterday.  Oh joyous joys!  It was exhilarating.  Profound.  I found new meaning with my life.  Everything changed as my pinky hovered above the "enter" key as soon as I had keyed my email and password into the little blue box.

Not really.  It was cool to be back.  Things changed.  I had 263 pending notifications.  Yay!

Do you like my short sentences today?  Some are fragments.  Good.  Useful devices.  But it can be easy to overuse them.  Not that I'm guilty of that.  Nope.  Not me.  No way.

A few updates:
- I dyed the tips of my hair pink!  Except, I have brown hair, and I didn't beach it first, so it's pretty dull.  I like it like that better.  Not as shocking.
- I have a ridiculous amount of homework.  I shouldn't be here right now.  The APUSH exam is in 11 DAYS!!! I might just implode from the stress of it all.  Oh yeah, and I have to make a hot air balloon for chemistry.  Out of tissue paper.  This is so stupid.
-  I will go now, and study for APUSH, because I'm a nerd with no life.  After the exam we've planned a party where the whole class can come to eat ice cream and cry.  It'll be exhilarating.

Day of Silence

Today is Day of Silence.  I'm not certain what it exactly represents, but it's for gay awareness.  At our school, the GSA handed out ribbons.
Black - No talking until you get home
Purple - No talking until final bell
White -  I have to talk, but I support the cause

I was a wimp, I took white.  I did purple last year, but I had double APUSH today, and since last week my teacher flipped out saying that we weren't discussing enough and letting just a few kids lead the discussions, I've been trying to contribute as much as possible.  I totally would have gone with purple or black if it wasn't for history.  Stupid APUSH.

Speaking of which, that's why I'm so stressed right now.  The AP exam is in three freaking weeks.  That's it.  We got study guides toady.  Some kids wrote "Holy Bible" on theirs because it'll be their sacred book for the next 3 weeks.  I wrote "The Cause of my Premature Death" on mine.  I'll assume you can figure out why.

I drew a picture to illustrate the concept of me dying from history.  But the drawing sucked (more than usual) and it was depressing to draw my own funeral.  It's all history's fault.

I told my friend that if I die, its her duty as my best friend to sue my teacher for manslaughter or whatever you call it, because clearly he is a cause of my demise.  She didn't respond, because she was wearing a purple ribbon.

UPDATE:
Okay, I just noticed I tagged this post as "Things I hate".  I was referring to APUSH.  I was just re-reading it and realized it might sound like I hate the Day of Silence.  Not true.  I totally support gay rights, don't get me wrong.  Sorry about any confusions.

Super Bowling

I've decided that next Super Bowl, we will start a tradition to go Super Bowling.  IF you don't know what that is, refer to the handy guide below:

Those are the Packers and Steeler's symbols, in case you didn't know.  No worries, I didn't either before I Googled them.
I was going to make some witty, scathing remarks about how stupid it is that the Green Bay Packer's logo is a G, their city, instead of a P, their team.  Then I remembered that the Boston Red Sox logo is some weird spiky B, so being a proud Massachusettian I will wisely keep my mouth shut.

I could go on and on about the commercials.  No one even watches the game, they just watch the commercials.  I could tell you all about them, but we all already know the baby Vader Volkwagon was the best, Sketchers was inappropriate, yadda yadda.  Let's have a more interesting conversation.

As a side note, I say conversation in an ironic sense to quote my history teacher.  He tells us we have such great historical conversations in class when he often does all the talking.  Therefore, this is a conversation because I am talking to you.  It would be nice, though, if you could comment to have an actual conversation.  Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.

Now, back to the Super Bowl (no pun intended).  Its basically a socially acceptable version of a struggle for male dominance.  See the figure below:

What I most don't get about it is why the wear tights.  Same with baseball.  It's just wrong.

And just to throw a bit of controversy in here:
For those who enjoy quoting the Bible to say that homosexuality is evil, I hope you don't like football.  Because, of course, according to Leviticus 11:6-8, touching the skin of a dead pig makes you unclean.  Chew on that for a bit, huh?

Holiday Cheers

I'll try not to mention the C-word in this post. Being politically correct is important, of course, so it would be very bad to refer to this time of year as anything but "holiday season". I will call the holiday coming up six days before the end of this month as "That-Holiday-Starting-With-A-'C'-That-I-Can't-Say-Because-That-Would-Be-Mixing-Religion-Into-Other-Things-And-I-Don't-Want-To-Offend-Anyone", or just The-Holiday-Which-Must-Not-Be-Named for short.

I celebrate You-Know-What. My mom got into our tree the day after Thanksgiving, for [insert-deity-of-your-choice]'s sake! We went out and hacked the feet off of a large evergreen shrubbery and tied it to the top of a large contraption that moves on it own thanks to multiple small explosions occurring right near you every second.

You know it's this time of year when two days after Thanksgiving there are large ornaments the size of basketballs hanging from the ceiling in the kitchen and any anti-holiday sentiment warrants an accusation of being called a "grinch", "scrooge", "grinch-scrooge", "weirdo", or "platypus".

I need to go shopping to get presents for all my relatives, friends, family, and pets. I only have one pet. My pet rock, Westley.

On a different note, I always find this a funny time of year. Jewish kids get presents on Hanukkah (forgive me if I butchered the spelling there) because their parents don't want them to feel left out because Christian kids get You-Know-What presents. But Christmas is supposed to be Jesus's birthday. Even though Jesus was technically born in March, back in the day they changed it to December, to make it easier to convert people. They already celebrated the winter solstice at that time, so it's easier to change the course of a holiday than make a new one.

Speaking of changing the course of a holiday, it has been. This is no longer about religion, it's about presents and Santa. I read a story about a kid in church who was asked whose birthday was on Dec. 25. The kid replied, "Santa Claus".

What is our world coming to?