It's a nice thought, but...

So I happened upon this comic:

It's a nice thought.  Aww, how sweet.  Math love.  The only problem is, it's a nerdy joke that wouldn't actually work on real nerds.  I read it, and I couldn't help visualizing the scene that would play out if anyone ever tried this trick on me:

...Yeah.  Not quite the intended result.

In other news, I spent the weekend on a ski trip in Vermont.  A great deal of the weekend was based on this comic, which I find hilarious:

So my friends and I would break out in song on the chairlifts (often freaking out the strangers riding with us) and throw our palms in each other's faces.

Um...Yeah...

I SET FIIIIIIIIRE TO THE RAIN, WATCHED IT POUR, AS I TOUCHED YOUR FACE

*virtually touches your face*

Snow Day!

This is what I put on Facebook yesterday, when it started snowing, and people were predicting the statistical likelihood of a snow day:

After that, I did notice there were fewer statuses that looked something like "It's snowinngggg!"  or "Guyz, its lyk snowing rite now!!!1!111!"

But whatever.  I'm not here to criticize annoying Facebookers.  I'm here to share the results of my snow day with you.

Did I start my history essay?  No.  Did I finish my history outlining?  No.  Did I research my forestry topics?  No.  Did I call my Gold Award project adviser?  No.

I had a great list of all the things I would do today.  Very few got done.  However, I made this!  IT'S A SNOW DALEK!

Who says I'm unproductive?  Psshh.

So, we had some snow...

You know what the Nazca lines are?  They're these huge giant lines in the middle of Peru.  On the ground, they look something like this:

Not very impressive, right?  Just some dusty lines in the sand.  Well, these lines go on for miles and miles, and when you fly over them and look from above, they look like this:

Crazy, huh?  They were somehow made before the people were actually able to look at them, and make sure they looked right.  Impressive.

So anyways, my sister and I decided to make our own, reduced-size version of the Nazca lines in the snow.  Here's what we ended up with:

It doesn't look quite right because the photo is taken from our second-story bathroom.  We couldn't convince our mom to let us rent a helicopter to fly directly over it and take a proper picture.

I wonder if it can be seen by people in airplanes.  That would be SO COOL.

Girl Scout Cookie season is upon us

I'm a Girl Scout, and the only decent cookies out there are the Caramel deLites/Samoas.

Gasp!  Go ahead, cart me off to Girl Scout prison, where they keep the cookie-dissenters, the refusers-to-wear-the-vest, and the most frightful criminal of all, the Girl-Scout-who-won't-sing-camp-songs.

In all seriousness, I love Girl Scouts.  The cookie sales are a little dubious, that's all.

They make it seem like selling cookies goes like this:

But actually, cookie selling goes more like this:

It's a very difficult trade.  They try to bribe you (If you sell 2400 boxes, you get an iPad) but it's unreasonable to expect anyone with half a life to sell many.  And if you think you're supporting that cute little girl on your stoop when you buy her cookies?  Wrong - more than 80% of the money goes to the council: troops only get 60 cents per box.

Want to actually help Girl Scouts?  Just give a donation.  I know it's hard, but can you resist those delicious, processed, mass-produced cookies?  

I can't run a 5K but I can write 50K. What now?

We lost power for about two days due to snow in freaking October.  Global warming?  What global warming?

My friends and I have this theory called Global Freezing.  The idea is that "global warming" is just a natural heating of the Earth.  But because we are making such a big deal over it, our efforts to cool down the Earth will go overboard and result in another Ice Age.  We will present this theory to America in a book called "A Convenient Truth" and make millions.

In other news, NaNoWriMo started yesterday!  I'm up to about 4000 words so far, due to the convenient truth that school has been canceled for the past three days due to power outages.  A five-day weekend has left me feeling significantly less stressed over homework and tests coming up.  This is good.

I propose a new system of schooling in which, instead of five days on, two days off, we get two days of school, two days off, repeatedly, ignoring what day of the week it is.  Anyone got any suggestions on how to propose this to the superintendent?

I have a fancy brand-new computer.  It's fancy.  However, this means that I have not yet copied all my programs over to this computer.  Which means...sad face...the program I use to illustrate is not available.  So I used some random online thing that I found when I Googled "drawing."

UPDATE:  My life sucks because I somehow deleted the entire first chapter of my novel.  AHHHHHHHH.  I will just keep writing and go back at the end to re-write it, because I don't have time to start at the beginning.  This sucks.

I'm Not Even Going To Try

I could try to be all cool and sneaky and get out some lie about such and such but it's not going to work.  You know it's April Fools Day.  We all do.  I won't get anything past you.  I'm not even going to try.

It snowed this morning.  We all thought it was some huge prank pulled by the weathermen, but it wasn't.  but school wasn't even canceled.  Bummer.

So yeah.  This is a boring post.  Go somewhere else for funny pranks.  Yes, you can leave now.
But wait!  Look what I found in my paper this morning!

Yes, I'm a Girl Scout. Don't Stereotype me!

So I spent the weekend on a Girl Scout ski trip in Vermont.  You know, that state above Massachusetts that looks like a trapezoid?  That's the one.  I hear they are famous for maple syrup.  Maybe something else too, but I forget.

Did you even read those sentences about me bashing Vermont?  Probably not, because you're still thinking, ZOMG, she's a GIRL SCOUT?? Like, those second graders that sell cookies door-to-door?  Wow, fail.

Well, you're wrong.  So ha.  I'm a Girl Scout, and we are awesome.  For example, view a sampling of our weekend activities:

Dance Party: Yep.  We blasted "Cha Cha Slide" and "Cotton Eye Joe" and got the entire house totally into it.  Fantastic.

Skiing: This was, ya know, the whole point of our weekend ski trip.  Some of the highlights were when my fellow Girl Scouts and I would ski down the slope with our poles straight up screaming/singing "I throw my hands up in the air sometimes..." - and got people to join in.
Not to mention that it was Mardi Gras weekend, and they were giving out those little colorful bead necklaces.  So we did what everyone was doing, and what any awesome teenager would do - tossed them in the trees on the way up the chairlift.


Ping-Dodge: This is like ping-pong, except slightly more vicious.  And when I say slightly, I mean very.  Basically, we all just chuck ping-pong balls at each other.  It only got dangerous when someone got the bright idea to throw the paddles as well.  We drew the line at pool balls, however.

Capture the Flag:  Your basic game except it was pitch back out, with no flashlights.  It was all well and good until a large wooden post fell on my sister.  You don't really want to know.

Food: We left a bag of M&Ms in the kitchen, and whenever we walked through we would grab a handful.

Don't you dare say that Girl Scouts are stupid.  Clearly, we had a more epic weekend then you did.  Deal with it, or I might "forget" to deliver your cookies.

Groundhog Day

Ever seen that movie? It's pretty good. I like the part where he falls in a large puddle.
But Groundhog Day is more than just a movie. It's a significant part of our culture. Where would we be without worshiping a large Pennsylvanian rodent? Probably right where we are right now. Except that Punxsutawney, PN would be minus world-wide fame.

But this year it doesn't matter anyway. Because if you read my last post, you would know that Punxsutawney Phil is dead. The ground froze over his underground hideout. I'm sorry. I bet that rodent had a special place in your heart.

But if he's dead, then it means he didn't see his shadow. So spring is coming. I'm waiting.

*waits*

It's still not here yet. It's still sleeting and being completely winter-ish outside. What a ripoff.

I think the only good part about this snow day is the dinosaur mac n cheese that I had for lunch.

"See, no shadow! Maybe spring is finally coming!"

"Severe Storm Warning"

Severe storm warnings have become my life this lovely winter. Honestly, the weatherman could just put an audio clip for "severe storm warning" on repeat, kick back and relax until April, and no one would ever know.

Personally, I think I would make a great weatherperson. Example broadcasts:
"Good morning, New England! We're having another severe storm warning today. This one, I promise, will be extra severe. No more sissy blizzards! We're in the big leagues now!"
"This storm is headed right for us. For those listeners in New England, you're smack in the middle of the No-way-you'll-survive-this zone.I suggest hibernating until spring comes. Stock up on mac n cheese."
"The groundhog died today when its underground burrow froze from excessive snow. It looks like this will mean six more years of winter."
"We've just received news that Boston has frozen over. Yes, that's right, I'm afraid the Patriots will not be present on Super Bowl Sunday. I think they're busy eating snowcones."

Us New Englanders are famous for being half-Eskimo in our abilities to survive these winters that make us wonder why the hell we even live in this frigid corner of the USA. We are proud of it. All the neighbors bow down to He Who Has Six Snowblowers. We brag about our shovel quality. We compare road salt brands.

But this is ridiculous. I read that we've gotten over six feet of total accumulation since Chritsmas. For those of you in warmer climates, "accumulation" means "a whole freakin' lot of snow is coming your way".

This is me at Christmas:

This is me in early January:

This is me in mid-January:

This is me right now:

And this is what I will look like by the end of this winter:

I wonder what we'll all do when the snow gets past our windows and doors and we're stuck in our houses for a few weeks. Luckily I have an emergency chocolate stash under my bed, just in case need be.

Global warming?? What global warming????

UPDATE:
At least this here church is helping us fight against the wrath of the snow:

Snow: a Blessing or a Menace?

"People were being cruel to me today. They laughed at me and called me names and wouldn't let me join any of their reindeer games....

Oops, wait, wrong person.

Anyway, there was this one guy who was mean to me. He kept saying things to me that seemed really nice, and I thought he was my friend. I tried called him later to thank him, I was so exited, but I couldn't find his number. But then, I found out he had lied to me! I was so angry and upset and sad. I cried that night.

I don't know his name, this guy. But I feel like I know him personally. And he personally betrayed me. My weatherman.

He called for snow. "A blizzard!" he cried, to the cheers of teenagers everywhere. I was among them. We were all taken in by his empty promises, his blatant lies.

"Several feet!" he exclaimed, and we stamped our own feet in joy.
"The roofs will cave in!" he declared, and we raised the roof in response.

We left him feeling fulfilled. Joyful. Anxious for the deliverance of the promised snow.

And then we got nothing. Not a damn snowflake.

And that is why I hate my weatherman this lovely afternoon."

That is what I wrote about a week ago, but forgot to publish it. Now, we're having the "Blizzard of 2010" up here in the northern reaches of the US of A. They'd better hope that it stops before this Friday, or they'll have to call it the "Blizzard of 2010/2011" and that's just not as catchy.

A week ago, I yearned for snow. They said we would have a snow day. I thought that would be pretty great. Why do we always have the giant snowstorms on the days that we already have school off??

A week ago, I wanted snow so badly. Now, I'd rather give it back. It's annoying. It made me slip and fall on my icy driveway. It made me cold and wet. It made my arms ache after I pushed my little cousins on sleds for hours on end.

Yes, snow. My frenemy. I love it sometimes, and sometimes it's nice to me. Then there's the times that we just don't get along at all...