I enjoy messing with people

I went to the bank to get money the other day, and the bank teller guy asked me how I wanted the bills.  I said "Um...how about in two-dollar bills?"

He paused, and looked at me with a face vaguely resembling this:

But he didn't say anything, and proceeded to pull out a little official-looking envelope from a little cabinet, and counted out a whole bunch of $2 bills.  The other tellers sort of looked at him weirdly, and he didn't say anything, just handed me my stack of two-dollar bills.

Great.  My bank thinks I'm a freak.

But this doesn't matter, because I am dancing around with my fresh stack of two-dollar bills.  I love these things so much, for several reasons.

1) Sometimes, people don't know that you can just ask for them at a bank.  They think $2 bills are rare.  Therefore, if you're convincing enough, you can persuade your friends to buy them off you for $3 or so.  I haven't had any success yet, but I'm working on it.

2) My brother likes to spend them all the time because he says he's "trying to bring them back into circulation."  I love spending them too, but for a different reason.  First, the cashier always looks at me, and the bill, really weirdly.  In some cases, I've heard that cashiers vehemently accuse you of counterfeit (or just refuse it), because they don't believe there's such thing as a two-dollar bill.  Hasn't happened to me, though.  But here's my favorite part.  See, cash register have specific slots for different types of bills and coins, and they don;t have a $2 bill slot.  So their hand sort of hovers between the $1 and $5 slots, trying to figure out what to do with it.  It reminds me delightfully of the spork scene in Wall-E.

It makes me crack up every time.

HAPPY Washington, Adams (Sr), Jefferson, Madison, Monroe, Adams (Jr), Jackson, Van Buren, Harrison, Tyler, Polk, Taylor, Fillmore, Pierce, Buchanan, Lincoln, Johnson (Andy), Grant, Hayes, Garfield, Arthur, Cleveland, Harrison, Cleveland (again), McKinley, Roosevelt (Teddy), Taft, Wilson, Harding, Coolidge, Hoover, Roosevelt (Frank), Truman, Eisenhower, Kennedy, Johnson (Lyndon), Nixon, Ford, Carter, Reagan, Bush (Sr), Clinton, Bush (Jr), Obama DAY!

Yes, that was from memory.

No, I am not sorry for having such a long title.  Blame our abundance of presidents.  Now, for some...drumroll...PRESIDENTIAL TRIVIA!

I'm sorry, I just really, really love trivia.  Especially about the presidents.  The following are facts I just happen to know:

• John Tyler (president 1841-1845) currently has 2 living grandchildren.
• James Garfield (president 1881) could write in Greek with one hand and in Latin with the other - simultaneously.
• Milliard Fillmore (president 1850-1853) is the only U.S. president whose first language was not English - it was Dutch.
• Milliard Fillmore's last words were "The nourishment is palatable."
• Teddy Roosevelt's last words were "Please put out the light."
• JFK's last words were "That's obvious."
• Both John Adams and Thomas Jefferson died on the same day, July 4, 1826.  Adam's last words were "Thomas Jefferson still survives," which is incorrect because Jefferson had actually died a few hours earlier.  Jefferson's last words were "It is the Fourth?"
• William Henry Harrison died after 31 days in office because he refused to wear a jacket during his inaugural speech and caught pneumonia.  His campaign slogan was "Tippecanoe and Tyler too," which, in my opinion, is far more catchy than "Yes We Can."  On that note, James K. Polk's slogan was "54-40 or Fight," which had to do with claiming Oregon territory.  I vote Romney's slogan to be "Romney or Fight." So much more interesting!
• Grover Cleveland served two non-consecutive terms.
• JFK was not actually the youngest president ever.  He was the youngest elected president.  Teddy Roosevelt was younger when he took office after McKinley was assassinated, and by the time he was re-elected, he was older than JFK.
• Rutherford B. Hayes (whose election ended Reconstruction) was the first president to have a telephone.  His phone number was 1.
• Lincoln ($5 and 1 cent), Jefferson (5 cents and $2), Franklin Roosevelt (10 cents), Kennedy (50 cents), Eisenhower ($1 coin, no longer in circulation), Washington ($1), Jackson ($20), Grant ($50), McKinley ($500, no longer in circulation), Cleveland ($1000, no longer in circulation), Madison ($5000, no longer in circulation), and Wilson ($100000, no longer in circulation) are all portrayed on U.S. currency.
• Speaking of which, the only people on U.S. currency who were never presidents are Susan B. Anthony ($1 coin), Sacagawea ($1 coin), Alexander Hamilton ($10), Benjamin Franklin ($100), and Samuel Chase ($10000, no longer in circulation).

Yeah...so I just realized that was a lot of facts (I never knew that I knew this much! And I know SO MUCH MORE too!), so I won't keep going on, or go look up other facts.  I mean, I just spent half an hour poring over Presidential Fun Facts.  Jeez, I like knowing this stuff.

But, yeah.  All of the above was stuff I already knew, though I Google-checked some of it to make sure I was right.  Happy President's Day!

P.S. If you don't live in the USA, I apologize.  Feel free to leave angry comments, which I will ignore.  Good'ay!

My friends and I are really cool

However, blogger isn't making my image easy to see.  Find it here http://imgur.com/lhUMs

Yes, this is my friend and I on Facebook.  Yes, we are really awesome.

Better late than never, right?

Today is February 7.

Five days ago, I meant write a lovely rant about Groundhog Day.  Well, you're about to be subject to said rant, because instead of the five-second rule, I follow the five-day rule.  Groundhog Day is still fair game.

Speaking of fair game, it's not like you would prefer me to write about the Super Bowl, right?  *cue groans and screams of agony*

...

After that introduction, I'm worried that my lovely rant cannot live up to such high expectations.  You're thinking that this rant had better be INCREDIBLE to be worth posting five days late.

It isn't incredible.  It's average.  Mediocre.  Practically incoherent.

I just realized this whole post is a big fat wad of disappointment waiting to happen.

BUT

Even disappointment can be a good present if it looks nice.  I shall wrap this disappointment in shiny wrapping paper, with glitter, and all will be right in the world.

How shall I accomplish this?  Friends, allow me to present: The Illustrated Rant - Groundhog Day Edition

I don't generally like concerts

They're too loud, and the music doesn't sound as good.  Mostly though, with music, I generally like a couple songs from a band, but not enough to warrant going to the concert.  Why sit through music you don't care for just for those few songs you like?

So, there are only a few bands that I would actually want to go to a concert for.  I would go see Rise Against, Matt & Kim, and the Dropkick Murphys.  I mean, there are a few others, like Queen (I'm seeing a cover band of them soon!) but it's not quite right without Freddie Mercury.

So, all three of them have been on tour recently, and for all three, I found out about the concert in Boston the day after the concert occurred.

Which is why I stand before you today, concert-less.  This sucks.

Speaking of which, am I the only one who thinks that Defunct Pasta would be a great name for a band?  I kind of wish I had some inkling of musical talent, so I could form a band with a cool name.

Background still undecided.  Sorry.

The State of the Blog

Since my title is sort of a reference to the State of the Union address, here's a random tidbit - do you know state governor also make an address, called "State of the State" addresses?  Is that not hilarious?

No?  Just me?  Darn.

In other news, I'm sure you noticed that my background is like, whoa!  OH MY ROWLING WHAT DID SHE DO?  What is wrong with your background??  It's not right.

Basically, I've been playing around with new backgrounds recently, because I felt like the old one was too busy and distracting from other, more important things, like my hilarious jokes.

Did I ever tell you guys the Heisenberg/Schrodinger joke?

So Heisenberg is driving in the car, with Schrodinger in the passenger seat.  They get pulled over by a cop.
"Sir, do you know how fast you were going?"  The cop asks.
"No," replies Heisenberg, "but I can tell you where I was!"

So the police officer takes that as a suspicious comment and searches the car.  In the trunk, he finds a dead cat in a box.
"Sir, did you know you have a dead cat in your trunk?"  The cop asks, bewildered.
"Well,"  says Schrodinger, "I do now."

So, what was I talking about?  Oh yes, backgrounds.  It was distracting from my wonderful jokes.  So I changed it to this lovely thing with lots of awesome nerdy pictures.  However, I suck and all the pictures were blurry and pixely and it looked very un-lovely.  So I've been playing around, and this green boring thing that you see on your screen before you is the result.

Clearly, I'm not very good at this.  I'd love some suggestions on what backgrounds are good and which ones suck and all that.  Also, let me know your preference, because I have no idea what you peeps like.  I'm an awesome person, not a mind reader, okay?

So, yeah.  Leave a comment and let me know.  Or answer the survey, I guess, but it's not as cool, because it's anonymous, and then I can't go and crush anyone who criticizes me.

Kidding!  I love criticism.  Seriously, please tell me what you think, honestly.  I'm lost here.

Best wishes, peeps.
(I need a better name for you guys than "peeps."  Must deliberate.  Farewell.)

So, we had some snow...

You know what the Nazca lines are?  They're these huge giant lines in the middle of Peru.  On the ground, they look something like this:

Not very impressive, right?  Just some dusty lines in the sand.  Well, these lines go on for miles and miles, and when you fly over them and look from above, they look like this:

Crazy, huh?  They were somehow made before the people were actually able to look at them, and make sure they looked right.  Impressive.

So anyways, my sister and I decided to make our own, reduced-size version of the Nazca lines in the snow.  Here's what we ended up with:

It doesn't look quite right because the photo is taken from our second-story bathroom.  We couldn't convince our mom to let us rent a helicopter to fly directly over it and take a proper picture.

I wonder if it can be seen by people in airplanes.  That would be SO COOL.

Ultimate Battle: Neil Patrick Harris vs. the Milk Carton of Doom

This happened about two weeks ago, but I forgot to post it, so here's a fun story.

First, during Creative Writing, we did something called "found" poems, in which we cut words out of magazines and glued them together to make poems.  I was cutting up a People magazine when I found a lovely picture of Darren Criss singing to me.  My friend then found a random picture of Neil Patrick Harris holding a chicken (no, I don't know why).  We cut them out and I saved them.  

Next period, for our AP World test, I gave Darren Criss to my friend as a good luck charm, and then gave NPH to another friend during lunch.  After lunch, we wander down to the office and find a hole in the wall, as though someone had taken a 2 by 3 by 4 inch block out of the wall.  We stood there for a while, pondering why there was a hole in the wall.

We never found out why, but my friend had a great idea to put Neil Patrick Harris (and his chicken) into the hole, just to see how long it lasted, and if anyone would notice.  We propped him up and said goodbye.

Meanwhile, Darren Criss got taped to his own special page in my friend's history notebook, labeled with the caption "This is what supermegafoxyawesomehot looks like."

Two days later, we went to check on Neil Patrick Harris.  He was gone, and the hole instead had a milk carton in it.  Strange.

Moral?  In a fight between Neil Patrick Harris (+ chicken) and a milk carton, bet on the milk carton.

Just going on a tangent (pun intended)

Since when do they even give you projects in math?  I think my last one was in 8th grade, but that wasn't a project.  We had to make a kite (my group won Best Design: it was an Escher lizard tessellation).

But basically, we have a Pre-Calc Project.  We have to choose an island, find its tide information, and graph it as a sine or cosine wave.  Then, do this stuff involving slope and wheelchair ramps and other things that I won't get into.

I have a group of three.

Theoretically.

In reality, it's a group of me, except there will be three names on the final project that we hand in.

Happy Alaska Young Day!

This message brought to you from 6th Period Marketing class.  Just to let you know that I am awesome.  You must admit, it's an important fact to note.

Happy Alaska Young Day!  If you don't know who that is, go straight to your local library and check out "Looking for Alaska" (in your pants) by John Green.

Do you know how I'm going to celebrate Alaska Young Day?  That's right, I'm going to meet John and Hank Green!

You have no idea how difficult it is for me to stay coherent at this moment, and not dissolve into a fit of babbling.

You see, for those non-Nerdfighters amongst you, today is not only Alaska Young Day, but the release date of John Green's new novel, "The Fault in Our Stars."  And I, flyergirl13, will be attending the first stop on John's book tour, the Tour De Nerdfighting, which is right here in Massachusetts in about 5 hours.

Yes, you are all very, very jealous.  

Whoops, class is almost over.  Have fun with your mundane evening plans!  DFTBA, yo.


UPDATE:
I'm sorry if you didn't understand that, I was slightly crazed with excitement when I wrote it.  John Green is one of my favorite authors, and I went to the book signing for the release of his new book, The Fault in Our Stars (which I already finished and is absolutely incredible.  HIGHLY RECOMMENDED.)
What I liked best about the event was, obviously, John and Hank, but also all the other people there. Imagine an auditorium of over 800 people, and you could (and we did) walk up to ANYONE (literally) and start a conversation, and become friends.  And don't get me started on the vast number of awesome, infinitely nerdy t-shirts present.
This is getting to be a long update, so I won't go into the details (you know, Hank in a tutu, TFiOS waving, all that jazz) so peace out, dudes.

Making my very own hipster photos

I wanted to try it out...here's what I came up with.

1) Start with a crappy picture of a person in a random pose.  (Yes, I took that...a while ago)

2) Now, first I opened it up in the Microsoft equivalent of Photoshop.  Crank up the contrast and down the brightness.

3) Already looking pretty hipster, isn't it?  Next, I blurred the whole thing a bit.

4) Now, I scrolled through the filters until I found one that made it look old and stuff.  Choose your own and apply.

5) Not done yet!  Next, Rotate and crop the image to make it artsy.

6) Note the artsy tilt of the horizon.  Finally, our final step is to add an angsty, nonsensical statement about the meaning of life or lost love in white helvetica text.  I didn't have helvetica (gasp!) so I used the most hipsterish font I could find.

And you're done!  Are you proud?  Now post it on your tumblr and be proud of your obscure photography style.  You are so not mainstream.

(Parentheses)[Brackets]{Squiggly Brackets that I don't know the official name of but look cool}

When making a list, I almost always write my numbers like this 1) with parentheses, not like this 1. with a period.

Why?  I only recently came to the realization of this habit, and I spent much time pondering exactly why I do this.  OCD?  Maybe, but I don't know.

After a great deal of consideration, I came to the conclusion that I think it has something to do with my fear for my numbers' safety.  See, if my words were to attack the poor numbers standing at the end of the lines, the numbers wouldn't be able to do much to protect themselves.  They're greatly outnumbered (pun intended), one number for every line of many words.  If the words chose to attack, the numbers would be goners.

So, to prepare my numbers in the case of potential word rebellion, I give them parentheses.  It could act as a sort of shield, right?  At least more so than a useless period.  If a parentheses is a shield, a period would be a rock.  Oh, like throwing at rock at some words will do much.  It might take out a few letters, but you'd still be left with lots of them coming at you.

Lesson to be learned from this?

Rocks are not sufficient defense against a horde of angry words.

Buy your very own hipster, only $58

My sister got her very own hipster for Christmas!

Seriously, Vera Bradley makes a kind of purse called a hipster. My sister got one for Christmas.  All night, my brother and I were making hipster jokes.

"She's going to wear it ironically."

"She wore hipsters before it was cool."

"Normal purses are too mainstream."

And things of that nature.  I kind of want my own, just so I can tell people I have my very own personal hipster.  It stays by my side and carries my things for me.

The only problem is, Vera Bradley doesn't offer "vintage" or "ironic" patterns.

Luck of the Jeans

So I have a pair of Lucky brand jeans.  I love them because they're comfy.  However, there is one other reason I love them as well.  They have a sense of humor!

I see you staring at me, whispering to your friends.  "Haha, she thinks her jeans have a sense of humor...know any good mental institutions nearby?"

I swear I'm not crazy, just mildly wacky.  But that's okay.  Weirdness is in direct proportion with awesomeness.

My jeans have a sense of humor.  If you're wearing jeans, look down at your crotch  (this is an awkward command).

You know that little flap of fabric behind the zipper?  Looks like this:

Pretty normal-looking flap of fabric, right?  Nothing particularly noteworthy.  However, my Lucky jeans took it a step further.  Because what's the first thing you see when you unzip the pants?  That fabric flap.  So...

It makes me laugh every time I take off my jeans.

New favorite Greek letter

It used to be pi, because it was cool and you could memorize it and all, but pi ain't got nothin' on phi.

No, not because it is the golden ratio (1.61803399...) or anything.  For something far more exciting than that (at least to me.)

Consider the following:
See that thingy over to the side there?  That's phi.  It's nice and Greek-looking, correct?  Well, it's better than what your first glance may let on...

In physics, we used phi to represent angle measure (for when we have multiple angles and theta is already taken).  So, please note the fantastic things that can be done with phi:

Phi, plus the crappy triangle (I'm not very good with straight lines).

What does this equal?  No, not phi-delta.  It equals....drumroll...

I hope my teacher doesn't mind that I replaced all the phis on my quiz with Deathly Hallow symbols...

The problem with feminism

I'm all for women's rights.  But the hard-core feminists both annoy me and confuse me.  Consider the following:
(yes, you did just say that like the voice from Bill Nye videos, didn't you?)

Girl: I'm making my boyfriend a sandwich!
Feminist: OH MY GOODNESS.  Do you see what you're doing?  You're sending the feminist movement right back into the 1950s!  You're making your boyfriend a sandwich?  Why is it your job?  Can't your boyfriend make himself a sandwich?  Does he have total control over you?  You're a disgrace to the female gender!

OR

Girl: My boyfriend is making me a sandwich!
Feminist: OH MY GOODNESS.  Do you see what you're doing?  You're sending the feminist movement right back into the 1950s!  You're letting your boyfriend make you a sandwich?  Why is it his job?  Can't you make yourself a sandwich?  Does he have total control over you?  You're a disgrace to the female gender!

My friends, do we see a flaw here?  Niceness is has apparently become sexist.  How about, instead of thinking about how horrible making sandwiches for the opposite gender is, we think about solving global problems?

One last thought that I found really cool (It's actually a quote (by that I mean paraphrase) from a Muslim philosopher, how about that?)
"God didn't take Eve from Adam's feet, or his head.  God took her from his rib.  That's because God didn't want Eve to kneel at his feet, or be superior, but for them to stand side by side as equals."

Girl Scout Cookie season is upon us

I'm a Girl Scout, and the only decent cookies out there are the Caramel deLites/Samoas.

Gasp!  Go ahead, cart me off to Girl Scout prison, where they keep the cookie-dissenters, the refusers-to-wear-the-vest, and the most frightful criminal of all, the Girl-Scout-who-won't-sing-camp-songs.

In all seriousness, I love Girl Scouts.  The cookie sales are a little dubious, that's all.

They make it seem like selling cookies goes like this:

But actually, cookie selling goes more like this:

It's a very difficult trade.  They try to bribe you (If you sell 2400 boxes, you get an iPad) but it's unreasonable to expect anyone with half a life to sell many.  And if you think you're supporting that cute little girl on your stoop when you buy her cookies?  Wrong - more than 80% of the money goes to the council: troops only get 60 cents per box.

Want to actually help Girl Scouts?  Just give a donation.  I know it's hard, but can you resist those delicious, processed, mass-produced cookies?  

WINNING

It's like losing, except more fun.

I have 50,003 words, but my novel isn't quite down yet.  I'll probably need another thousand or so to wrap things up.  But regardless, I WON.

I can write fifty freaking thousand words in a month.  Friends, I do believe I am invincible.
Go ahead, shoot me, the bullet will bounce off because vampires have an extra chromosome and because Edward loves Bella and because I have my 50,000 word novel to use as a shield.

Out of random curiousity, now that I'm on the subject of novels protecting against bullets, how many sheets of paper could stop a bullet from going through?

I suddenly really want to know this.  Google, here I come.

Google is conflicted on the answer.  Apparently depends on type of paper, type of gun, type of bullet, and so on.  I just want to KNOW, Google!  How could you fail me?  *headkeyboard* sdfhnkjKsdhn

Someone, please test this for me and discover the answer.

Coloring Books are EVVVIILLLL (not really)

"Evil" spelled backwards is "live" and coloring books are life.

I purchased a coloring book this weekend.  My mind went something in this procession:
I see a shelf of coloring books!
They're 50% off!
I must look for a Harry Potter one.
They don't have any.
Look!  A Lion King coloring book!
Must have!
Purchases.

After all the multiple Black Friday discounts, it cost a grand total of 50 cents.  Ouch.
I don't get how all the store manage to get into the black on this day if all they do is price all their products way lower than usual?

Anyways, I was extremely proud of my coloring book, until I realized I have no crayons.
Then, life was very sad.

We also got our Christmas tree today.  It took forever, due to the discrepancies in opinion between family members.  I had fun comparing trees to math.  "That tree trunk looks like a cubic function.  That one looks like a tan line."

I visited Niagara Falls, and stood on the shoulders of giants (just like Newton!).  Only one giant, Nikola Tesla*.  Then, my mom yelled at me and told me to stop climbing on statues.

*In case you don't know who he is, he's the namesake of the Tesla Roadster and Tesla coils.  Did cool stuff with electricity, including Niagara hydropower.

Over and out, dudes.  Have fun with all that leftover turkey.  (Hint: Turkey pancakes.  Not as bad of an idea as you'd think.)

MIT is surprisingly surprising

Taking classes at MIT is fun, but roaming around campus for a while, exploring?  Even better.

First, my friend and I climbed every abstract/modern art sculpture we could find.  Yeah, there were a lot.

Next, we climbed a wall outside a building and, using the foor-wide edge along the windows, around twenty feet off the ground, walked around the entire building peering into window and freaking out the students.

Yes, Mr. Professor, I was looking in your twenty-foot high office window and watching you on Facebook.

That sounds extremely creepy.  But it was fun when the teachers were facing away from the window, so the students saw us and pointed, and when the teachers turned, we were gone.  Good times to be had.

Next, we tried to find a way onto the roof from one of the inside staircases, but all the doors were locked.  Bummer.

Next, we found a staircase that led into the "secret" tunnel system between buildings, and had good fun poking around.  I kept count, and ended up with 16 doors marked with a sign that read something along the lines of "DANGER: Radioactive materials.  You will likely die if you open this door."

Finally, I'd like the summarize the awesomeness of MIT by simply listing three acapella group names I found on flyers:

• Logarhythms
• Chorollaries
• Asymptones

And, last of all, one completely unrelated image that I felt like sharing: