I could write about the new Duke and Duchess of Cambridge but...nah

I've already written a SparkLife post about the Royal Wedding, and it's not getting anymore coverage from me.  Kate and her new hubby can go kiss on the balcony all they want and look all sweet and couple-y.  It's cool and all but this is getting more attention that.... I can't think of an example.  So sort of horrible disaster.  Aren't there tornadoes in Alabama right now?  No one cares about the poor Alabamians because they'll all baking scones and speaking in British accents (yes, I did both today).

But anywho, let's get down to business.
TO DEFEAT THE HUNS!

...ummm ahem.  What?  I didn't say anything.  But yea, times are tough.  I had to correct my brother because he seemed to think today was the anniversary of the Haymarket Square Riot in 1886, when a bomb went off in Chicago.  A bunch of anarchists were convicted without much evidence, and it was a drawback for the advancement of labor unions.  But he's WRONG.  It was on May 4.

...I have to babysit in like 10 minutes.  I'm thinking about that and I can't even be funny.  I knew there was something funny I wanted to say, but it slipped my mind.  Now everyone will think I'm a loser.
I like bananas!
And I only know how to spell that because Gwen Stefani taught me.

Other things I've learned from songs:
There are 86,400 seconds in a day. ("Live Like We're Dying" -Kris Allen)
There are 525,600 minutes in a year. ("Seasons of Love" from Rent)

Whoa!  Kris Allen sings that song???  As in the American Idol dude who beat Adam Lambert, who is awesome?  That's to bad, because I totally hayed Kris Allen because he didn't have any good songs.  But now my life has been a lie.  This is not fair.  Now I don't have a suitable reason for hating him for beating Adam Lambert.

My mind has been taken over by a little parasite called "history"

I keep blogging about APUSH.  You're probably so sick or it by now that you want to reach through the screen and strangle me if I mention that abbreviation once more.  If so, that's awesome!  It means I'm not alone in my misery.  It also means I find joy in your suffering.  So ha.

Anyway, we have a new girl in APUSH today.  From Florida.  A week and a half before the AP exam.  Wow.  I feel kind of bad for her, because our class is so completely unlike any other class ever.  Extremely unstructured, weird, and crazy.

But if you want proof (or "factual evidence" as we say in history) of us being total nerds, we introduced ourselves by going around and saying our names and favorite historical figure.

Mine?  Guess, and I'll tell ya later.

Notable moments:

"So then Ronald Reagan gets elected and he destroys all the evil Commies with his sword.  Write that on the AP exam!  'Ronald Reagan destroyed the Commies with his sword.' "
"So it's like Teddy Roosevelt's Big Stick, except sharper?"

"Fighting in Korea was nothing but America defending its overinflated ego.  The big, bad Soviet bullies were trying to take our toy truck in the sandbox, and man, we were gonna get them back because WE are the sandbox bullies and they had better not challenge us!"

"I think what we've agreed upon here is that the best policy is to always lie to the American people, and you're golden."

"At one point in the arms race, the US and Soviets combined had enough nuclear weaponry to blow up the Earth eleven times."
"What?  That makes no sense...why blow it up eleven times?  That's stupid."
"So you don't care if the world gets blown up, so long as it only happens once?  This is why the future is doomed."

History Can Be Amusing

So we're talking about Cold War and atomic bombs in APUSH.
An interesting point came up - H-Bombs are hydrogen bombs.  Is it possible to make a bomb out of fluorine?
Because then we would be dropping F-bombs.

Hahahaha :)

I Missed Easter!

You may notice I have a thing for posting on holidays.  Automatic subject, without even thinking!  But I missed Easter.  Oops.  I was too busy going on Facebook.

I gave up Facebook for Lent.  Lent is the 40 days before Easter where you give up something you like, to show God how much you love God and are willing to make sacrifices for God.  And so on.  So I gave up Facebook.  It was a long, trying 40 days, with my friends getting mad at me because they had no idea how to communicate with me now.  I lived in a lonely little cave in the Arctic Circle for 40 days, for all they knew.

But I got back yesterday.  Oh joyous joys!  It was exhilarating.  Profound.  I found new meaning with my life.  Everything changed as my pinky hovered above the "enter" key as soon as I had keyed my email and password into the little blue box.

Not really.  It was cool to be back.  Things changed.  I had 263 pending notifications.  Yay!

Do you like my short sentences today?  Some are fragments.  Good.  Useful devices.  But it can be easy to overuse them.  Not that I'm guilty of that.  Nope.  Not me.  No way.

A few updates:
- I dyed the tips of my hair pink!  Except, I have brown hair, and I didn't beach it first, so it's pretty dull.  I like it like that better.  Not as shocking.
- I have a ridiculous amount of homework.  I shouldn't be here right now.  The APUSH exam is in 11 DAYS!!! I might just implode from the stress of it all.  Oh yeah, and I have to make a hot air balloon for chemistry.  Out of tissue paper.  This is so stupid.
-  I will go now, and study for APUSH, because I'm a nerd with no life.  After the exam we've planned a party where the whole class can come to eat ice cream and cry.  It'll be exhilarating.

Driver's Ed - Legal Waterboarding

I don't actually really know what waterboarding is, but I do believe it's illegal.  And a form of torture.  Driver's Ed is similar to waterboarding in that in waterboarding, water gets poured on your face to make you think you're drowning.  In Driver's Ed, you wish there was water being poured on your face because it might help you stay awake.
Okay, I'm sorry.  I've clearly been extremely insensitive by comparing Driver's Ed to torture.  Look at me, the worst part of my life is that I have to spend 30 hours of my school vacation week in a tiny classroom with 40 teens who I don't know and some of them smell like smoke, listening to Mr. Monotone drone on about car insurance.
Okay, it's not fun.  But I'd rather be there than be waterboarded.  Happy?

But it's not so bad, because I'm able to plan other things during class.  Like think up some sort of business plan for a scholarship due in 10 days.  Or catch up on APUSH reading.  Or watch everyone around me texting.

The most fun part, I think, was today, when I was taking notes on what Mr. Monotone was saying about hydroplaning.  The girl next to me was texting, and copying my notes.  She didn't know I knew, until I took some more notes, except these said "I know you're reading my notes." with a sketchy smiley face.  She didn't copy again.  It was highly amusing.

By the way, I'm not calling the teacher Mr. Monotone to be mean.  It's just what I decided to refer to him as, considering he hasn't actually told us his name.  No joke.

Day of Silence

Today is Day of Silence.  I'm not certain what it exactly represents, but it's for gay awareness.  At our school, the GSA handed out ribbons.
Black - No talking until you get home
Purple - No talking until final bell
White -  I have to talk, but I support the cause

I was a wimp, I took white.  I did purple last year, but I had double APUSH today, and since last week my teacher flipped out saying that we weren't discussing enough and letting just a few kids lead the discussions, I've been trying to contribute as much as possible.  I totally would have gone with purple or black if it wasn't for history.  Stupid APUSH.

Speaking of which, that's why I'm so stressed right now.  The AP exam is in three freaking weeks.  That's it.  We got study guides toady.  Some kids wrote "Holy Bible" on theirs because it'll be their sacred book for the next 3 weeks.  I wrote "The Cause of my Premature Death" on mine.  I'll assume you can figure out why.

I drew a picture to illustrate the concept of me dying from history.  But the drawing sucked (more than usual) and it was depressing to draw my own funeral.  It's all history's fault.

I told my friend that if I die, its her duty as my best friend to sue my teacher for manslaughter or whatever you call it, because clearly he is a cause of my demise.  She didn't respond, because she was wearing a purple ribbon.

UPDATE:
Okay, I just noticed I tagged this post as "Things I hate".  I was referring to APUSH.  I was just re-reading it and realized it might sound like I hate the Day of Silence.  Not true.  I totally support gay rights, don't get me wrong.  Sorry about any confusions.

The World Explained in Charts (PART II)

I do like charts.  They are a logical, mathematical, way to make sense of this crazy world we call home.  Doesn't life seem so much simpler now that you can assign everything a value and stick it in a chart?

The World Explained in Charts

No, I swear I did not steal these off some site.  I do have a little bit of wit and awesomeness inside of me, and these beautiful graphs are a result of that.
Surprises you, huh?  I can be cool once in a while, ya know?  So enjoy the fruits of my labor.  If I get any more ideas I might make a second post, if anyone expresses any interest in these graphs that took me make grueling hours to complete for your benefit, I might consider making more.  Maybe.

 YAY!  Charts are fun!

What do I expect? It's a Monday

Note: I wrote this yesterday and forgot to post it.  Just pretend today is Monday.  Or whatever.

"I hate Mondays."

--Garfield

I think the words of a fat orange cat pretty much sum up my day in three words.  My day, in no particular order of time, good or bad, or anything.*

• My bus smelled like bacon.
• At our lunch table, my friends and I compared compasses (we're not that nerdy, I swear!)
• In history, we decided it would be a good plan to go around the room and share intensely sad personal stories.
• In English, we added "No undressing each other" to our list of class rules (we have 52 so far).
• I was told by an online career quiz that I would make a good trash collector.
• There are no index cards in my entire house.

In the words of the same wise cat quoted above:

"Look on the bright side, at least Monday only happens once a week."

*You should know that.  Clearly, Wikipedia states "guidelines advocate using a bulleted list only where the list items are unordered."  We all know Wikipedia is always right.

I'm Not Even Going To Try

I could try to be all cool and sneaky and get out some lie about such and such but it's not going to work.  You know it's April Fools Day.  We all do.  I won't get anything past you.  I'm not even going to try.

It snowed this morning.  We all thought it was some huge prank pulled by the weathermen, but it wasn't.  but school wasn't even canceled.  Bummer.

So yeah.  This is a boring post.  Go somewhere else for funny pranks.  Yes, you can leave now.
But wait!  Look what I found in my paper this morning!